Top 5 Fictional Characters Who Need to Be Punched in the Face

[neadods]

I don't think minervacat intended to start a meme, but comments from her post on "Top 5 fictional characters who need a punch in the face" are galloping along. Only one's hit metaquotes so far, but there's a lot of good stuff there.

So... who do YOU think needs one in the face (or in the 'nads, some of 'em)?

1 - Most of the cast of Gilmore Girls. A lot of the comments are singling out Jess, and yeah, it would be really satisfying to hear the squish as Mr. "I'm more cool & angsty than Holden Caulfield" gets run over by a car. But that doesn't mean that Rory doesn't deserve it for throwing her bright future away every chance she gets. Or Lorelai with her "I'm too sexy for everything, isn't my fast-talking, name-dropping snobbery cute?" attitude. Or Dean "I'll screw around on my wife and then blame my lover for my wife finding out." Or Taylor and Kirk for existing.

2 - Holden Caulfield. Want to see the biggest phony there is, dear? Look in a mirror. Then grow the fuck up. If you hadn't been the first foul-mouthed angsty teenager to make it to print, you'd have long since sunk into the anonymity you deserve.

3 - Heathcliff. You need Prozac. Lots and lots and lots of Prozac, followed by decades of therapy.

4 - Carrie Meeber. You're so stupid I'm surprised your brain has enough power to keep your lungs working. Undine Spragg kicks your literary ass.

5 - King Lear. Talk about stupid! If that's your idea of leading a country, you deserved to have your family turn on you and your land invaded. If you want unconditional fawning love, get a damn dog.

Comments

[vampry.livejournal.com]

Josh Lyman on "West Wing" needs his a** kicked, not just a fist in the face. He's blind and stupid and too focussed on the big picture so that he misses the little stuff.

And Clark Kent - Smallville? If I wouldn't break my hand, he needs to GET A CLUE about Lana for crying out loud. Sheesh.

Not sure who else at the moment.

[nycdeb.livejournal.com]

Josh Lyman on "West Wing" needs his a** kicked, not just a fist in the face. He's blind and stupid and too focussed on the big picture so that he misses the little stuff.

Amen! Seriously - I've never understood where all the Josh love comes from - he's arrogant, often inarticulate and not nearly as smart as he (and apparently everyone else) thinks he is. And he walks funny.

[vampry.livejournal.com]

I have to disagree on the "walks funny".

Sorry. ;)

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Clark Kent on Smallville needs to get a brain, because the one he's got is pretty defective. Oh, for the days when angsty teen angst is out of fashion!

I'm so utterly loving Lois and Clark reruns - doubly so now that I've seen the next generation.