BWAHAHahahahaaaa!

[neadods]

moviegrrl has started writing a pantomime version of Torchwood (spoilers for ep 5 only, which will only make sense after you've seen said episode). It's only the beginning but don't worry about being left dangling on the plot - not that there's a plot there to be hanging on.

Why am I talking about it here? Because I barely know the conventions of pantomime and I'm still rolling on the floor here, mostly for the George Lucas part. Y'all have GOT to read the George Lucas part!

GWEN: I'm going to call the director, he'll sort this out.

IANTO: He won't come and help us.

GWEN: He will if he thinks there's money in it. Ladies, if you could pick you purses out of your bags and rattle them.

IANTO: Gents if you could fiddle with your change in your trouser pockets. (Looks at man in front row) I see you've already started sir, very impressive.

GWEN: Rattle your money as loudly as you can, and we'll all call him, 'George, George'.

IANTO: (Nudges her) Don't you think we ought to call him Mr Lucas? That would be a bit more respectful.

GWEN: Don’t be silly, once he hears the money he'll be on the stage in a shot.

It gets funnier.