Legal Snark is the Best Snark

[neadods]

The Jack Schaap sentence was pronounced today: http://cbschicago.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/schaap-prosecution-memo.pdf

For those who haven't been following the case, the leader of the biggest megachurch in America got caught screwing around with a minor. Cue the usual "she tempted him" and "he's under demonic attack" and "it's anti-Christian to take this to the courts" and all the other standard attempts to protect the insitution and silence the victim.

The legal brief, though, is levels of wit mixed with "I am not putting up with this bullshit" that I haven't seen since Kitzmiller v Dover. Some samples:

Comments

[jeff-morris.livejournal.com]

I especially enjoyed the "if his prostate was bothering him, you sure couldn't tell by his expression in the picture!" bits.

Reminds me of my mother's church back in the early 90's: young, charasmatic minister, lots of energy and excitement as the church grew rapidly. At one point Red and I were forced to attend a service (Mom wanted to be seen with "Her Sons"), and the minister, whose nickname I kid you not was 'Woody', started talking about a time he was staying at his beachfront apartment in Miami Beach, counseling a troubled young man. Red looked at me, shook her head and said, "That guy is gay and has a thing for teenagers."

My mother did not take to this idea very kindly and rabidly defended 'Woody'. But when said minister was confronted with evidence that he'd been seeing more than one minor during his stay there...whole different story, shall we say?

[signeh.livejournal.com]

What a treat! A Federal Judge with full bitch-slap mode engaged is always fun.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

What the heck happened to half my post?

[maureen-the-mad.livejournal.com]

"it was lust, hubris and poor judgment that prompted Defendant’s much deserved fall from grace."

Yep - that's what did it.