Legal Snark is the Best Snark

The Jack Schaap sentence was pronounced today: http://cbschicago.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/schaap-prosecution-memo.pdf

For those who haven't been following the case, the leader of the biggest megachurch in America got caught screwing around with a minor. Cue the usual "she tempted him" and "he's under demonic attack" and "it's anti-Christian to take this to the courts" and all the other standard attempts to protect the insitution and silence the victim.

The legal brief, though, is levels of wit mixed with "I am not putting up with this bullshit" that I haven't seen since Kitzmiller v Dover. Some samples:

ETA: Trigger Warning

I cannot edit the previous post via mail posting, so I'm going to say here that while the judge is smacking people around, it's very funny. When the judge is detailing what was actually done to that poor girl and her family, it is very heartbreaking and likely triggering.