Conversations with my GPS

Conversations with my GPS:
Me: So, which route is worst off?

GPS: Oh, honey, NO. Do not take a main highway at Friday rush. Let me take you down the back roads. Turn left... now right... now le-

Me: Wait. We're going right past the secondhand store. What I'm hearing is that you want me to go buy more scarves.

GPS: What? No! Turn left!

Me: I'm turning right.

GPS: Get back on the route! (It really did say that)

Me, three scarves and a cardigan later: So, what's the next little road?

GPS: Fuck it. Take the parkway, that'll be fastest.

Parkway: *is backed up*

Me: You lied to me, GPS.

GPS: BECAUSE I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.