Thoughts at the Closing of the Year

[neadods]

Can we move Christmas to January 25? That would work better for my schedule.

As usual, despite my best plans, Christmas is sneaking up on me too fast and New Year is staring me down with a disapproving expression. I started this year with only two resolutions.

I have, by any measurement, failed egregiously at both of them. Worse, clutter and disorganization have gotten so bad that there's a stack of stuff in my bedroom that's so old that my garb from last February's Team Wench Privateer Feast is at the bottom of it.

What's keeping me from being too horribly upset about those, though, is the knowledge that I have done a lot of good stuff this year. (One of the best being keeping a list of What I Accomplished That's Good, so that when I verge on "I suck" moments, I can look at the list and remind myself that no, maybe I don't.) House renovations have moved forward significantly; some of the things may not have been finished, but I've at least figured out how they *can't* be done and what I'll try next. Some of the systems I've set up worked. I managed to survive an entire year without conventions without feeling deprived.

I don't know if I'm going to do "resolutions" per se as come up with a list of goals to try to accomplish - goals a little more definite than "get house renovated." And January will see the return of the Sunday 7 in some form, because once again I've been reminded that if I don't publicly post what I'm doing... eventually I'm going to stop doing it.

tl;dr: Somehow I've managed this year to spend most of my time doing neither what I want to do or what I need to get done. In a few weeks, I start over.

Comments

[penfold-x.livejournal.com]

One of the best being keeping a list of What I Accomplished That's Good, so that when I verge on "I suck" moments, I can look at the list and remind myself that no, maybe I don't.

What a great idea!

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Best. Idea. Ever. And they're not all big things either - one is "figured out how to hook trash bag in car" (curtain hooks for the win!) - but they're all the things that make my life nicer and closer to what I want it to be and having that to look at has saved me from several "I suck at life" crashes.

I think for next year it's not just going to be the new things, but all the things that move me forward. Because I have done a lot... it's just not what I had planned, y'know?

[penfold-x.livejournal.com]

I was feeling very frustrated at work at the start of the year, always feeling like I didn't accomplish much of anything despite the number of hours I spend at the office. I started to write down a list everyday of actions completed, and it made me feel somewhat better to have a list of accomplishments at the end of the day, even if they were small or just pieces of a project (as well as being helpful when trying to write out my year-end review).

I don't know why I didn't think to apply that to my personal life, but you've inspired me!

[redpanda13.livejournal.com]

"Somehow I've managed this year to spend most of my time doing neither what I want to do or what I need to get done." Welcome to the human race... or 99% of it, anyway.

Just read a book called Kluge by psychology prof Gary Marcus which boils down to "If our brains were Intelligently Designed, they'd work a heck of a lot better than this." Or, as someone else said about the realization that you've committed a major screwup, "You want to take your brain out and give it a good spanking."

Marcus suggests the following brain patches, among others:

Anticipate your own impulsiveness and pre-commit, e.g. when the alarm goes off after 30 minutes, I will get off the computer and do that useful task over there.

Set contingency plans, not just goals, e.g. not just "lose weight" but "I will have one small plate at the holiday buffet and no seconds."

Always weigh benefits against costs, including cost of time spent doing B instead of A.

Imagine that you will have to justify your decisions.

There are other suggestions, but those seem the most applicable.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

"You want to take your brain out and give it a good spanking."

Oh, my, yes!

Set contingency plans, not just goals, e.g. not just "lose weight" but "I will have one small plate at the holiday buffet and no seconds."

Oh, I like that a great deal! PS - Switch: How to Change When Change is Hard (great book) has much the same thing: set concrete goals and more than that, set subgoals. With rewards for completing them.)

One of the things I think I'm going to do next year is set aside some time not so much to do nothing - I had pencilled in "spa days" this year and took none of them - but set aside time to do "This is what I want to do" time. Time to read magazines and look at cookbooks and knit or whatever. I need to start shoving what I want into my life instead of pushing it aside for later.