Huzzah! A sensible guy!

[neadods]

linaerys had a couple of great links I have to pass on. Finally, a man weighs in on the whole "the guy couldn't help it" meme that says women are always to blame for whatever happens to them.

I am not my cock
I want to go on record as saying a big, mean Fuck You to every single man who has ever claimed that men are incapable of stopping themselves when pussy is on the line.

When someone in his comments used the old "she didn't DESERVE it, but hey, she tempted them y'know, it was like me leaving my keys in the car in a bad neighborhood," he wrote a sequel. The point is not only that women are more likely to be raped doing normal, everyday shit, but that they're constantly forced to justify themselves when it happens. That we consider this acceptable is the fucking problem, and in my humble opinion, we need to shut the fuck up with the robbery-car-metaphors, and talk about the rape-assault-evil facts.

Highly, highly recommended reading.

Comments

[lizbetann]

Honest to God, someone told me this on the phone the other day, while trying to sell himself and his company as a good Human Resources Training outsource: "We men don't like being told we 'can't' do something. It's a biological thing. So we mix the whole sexual harrassment seminars up with other, more palitable topics."

Gag. ME! And I go on record as saying yeah, guys and girls have different chemistry, we react to stimuli differently and yes, we have slightly different biological imperitives (and no I don't mean, "Man hump everything in sight, women try to trick man into staying with her to take care of her and babies").

That does not mean women can claim insanity once a month ("It's not me, it's my PMS!") and it does not mean men can claim that they have no control over their sexual urges.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

"We men don't like being told we 'can't' do something

A great deal of the relationship bullshit out there is also along those lines, because many of those books really DO come right out and say, in the words of the original poster "men are either animals, retarded children, or monsters without self restraint who must therefore be carefully controlled." Fascinating Womanhood, The Rules, and Surrendered Wife are all about control. Men are from Mars simply tells women to put up with the behavior and deal (whereas men get a free pass - no shit, one of his pieces of advice to men is to pretend to listen to women.)

I think it's time we started calling a spade a spade every time that bullshit happens. "She should have known what to expect" "Why does her lack of self control excuse theirs?" "Men are just like that." "Well, if you can't control yourself, maybe you shouldn't be allowed out in public until you can." "Men need their egos stroked." "So do women. We're all human." "Men are simple like children." "Then I'm going to spank you and put you to bed without dinner. Call me when you've grown up."

[peggin.livejournal.com]

I particularly like where the original poster says that not being a rapist "isn't something I'm proud of. That's because I can't be proud of not raping people anymore than I can be proud of not shitting on myself whenever I laugh. Not being a rapist is the default fucking setting. Far as I know, most men have never raped anyone. I assume this means that rapists are a minority of men, and in a normal world you'd think that not being an evil, violent monster would make one more sympathetic to the victims of rape, who are also not evil violent monsters."

Thanks so much for this link!

[tacnukesoul.livejournal.com]

He does a very good job at pointing out the problem that trips up a lot of people - the difference between being stupid and being criminal.

Going off alone with strangers when you're in a foreign country is not a smart idea for anyone. However, it doesn't make what the others did any less of a crime.

A few years ago, I had my car broken into and my jacket and boom-box stolen. It was not smart of me to leave the items visible in my car. However, that doesn't make the thief any less of a criminal.

Unfortunately, the background sexism in this society allows that same illogical argument to be made in the case of rape. The whole "men are animals, women have to do all the thinking" heresy aids the "accuse the victim" tactic in these cases.

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

Duuuuuuuude. I want to send this guy flowers. Or a side of beef. Or something. Rock on!