What it is to be a fanwar survivor

[neadods]

I hadn't realized until this morning just how much of my immediate fandom experience is being affected by something that happened decades ago. I've mentioned it in passing, but the words are probably meaningless to anyone who doesn't know the background. And so, I thought an explanation here in my LJ ought to be in order. There is no point or moral to this post; it is here to explain only my headspace and how it got there. (Plus, quote chunks of a Blue Oyster Cult song.)

You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars
We see everything through the lenses of our experiences. My experiences include the Beauty and the Beast war. It's hard to explain now, to fans whose experience is primarily online and whose idea of a fight is a flamewar and maybe a few bannings and new communities, just how vicious a scorched-earth war of attrition that mess was. At the time, and for several years afterwards, panfandom spoke of it in whispers - one of the two great atrocities of fandom-gone-feral, the Beauty and the Beast war. (The other one, fought a few years earlier, was the Blake's 7 war.)

I'm not sure that there's anything left of me
A quick primer. Beauty and the Beast was presented as a modern fairy tale; he's a hairy guy who lives in a magical world under NYC; she's a chic society lawyer. They fight crime. Then there was a major casting change (she left for reasons that depend on which side you talk to) and the motto changed from "Once Upon a Time is Now" to "It's Not a Fairy Tale Anymore." Factions instantly sprang up - Get Her Back or Replace Her vs Trust the Guys Who Brought You the Show in the First Place. (All this before shooting even started on the final season.) When the shows did air - ARMAGEDDON!

They say that academic infighting is fierce because the stakes are so small. Imagine the cosmically miniscule nature of a TV show, and then do the math.

I cannot claim to have been a helpless victim; I was a front-line fighter. It seemed important at the time. I look back at some things and think even now, "Yes, that was an abominable thing for someone to do, and someone had to speak up and say so." Without refighting or even announcing what side I was on, I will simply list some of the battles in that war:
- The dissolution of charities in the name of the show, with no regard to the recipients of the charities.
- A full-page ad taken out in Variety venting fury on the producer
- Clubs disbanding, or requiring loyalty oaths to a side in the war, driving out anyone who wouldn't do so
- The silencing of the other side by "losing" letters or editing them before publication (this was when the role of the internet was played by newsletters)
- The silencing of the other side by refusing to allow "the wrong" art to be hung or "the wrong" stories to be published.
- Harrassment of folks on the wrong side... not just via letters to the letterzines, but to their homes and sometimes their families
- Outing fanficcers to the Powers That Be and/or their employers

You ask me why I'm weary, why I can't speak to you
I saw people being led through art shows blindfolded, lest they see the "wrong" art, and then complaining furiously to the art chair about the "filth" hung. I heard people snarling at auctioneers "nobody wants to bid on THAT!" when the wrong items came up.

I had a former friend look me dead in the eye and announce, "The reason you like [that side] is because you don't know the difference between good and evil."

I was harassed for four years about a letter I sent to Starlog. One in which, ironically, I was pointing out that the current Gulf War was far more important than a TV show regardless of outcome. (If I had a dime for every time I was told that letter "hurt someone's feelings" I'd be Bill Gates. [Don't use the word 'heartfelt' around me. After all that conditioning, it's an instant purgative.] If I had a buck for every "Starlog is a magazine about fans; how dare it print a letter dissing TV!" I could go to Cardiff right this minute.) If I had a penny for every hissed reiteration of "if the shoe fits, kick yourself with it" - a line I had swiped from the other side, actually - I'd be Paul McCartney.

Four years ago - a good 15 years after the original war - someone came to a panel I ran at Media*West with the firm intention of having me thrown off of the panel for said war.

I'm young enough to look at, and far too old to see / All the scars are on the inside
This is what I remember when I see a fandom start to angst over cast changes. These are the lenses I'm looking through when I read lines like "When she goes, I go!" and "This will ruin the fandom!" and "Fans ought to..." and "Fans shouldn't..." and certainly "Producer/writer/actor/TPTB has ruined OUR show!"

But the war's still going on, dear
I'm ashamed to say that the old warhorse got a sniff of the gunpowder and lept into the wank yesterday, challenging someone who announced they would leave as soon as their favorite character left. Fortunately for us both, she disarmed me instantly with a response of grace and dignity, allowing me my preferences while holding quietly to hers.

I lept into it again in a disagreement with a friend; having stated my side and putting the friendship over "winning," that one gets chalked up to agreeing to disagree.

I can't say if we're ever gonna be free
Actually, I can. My responses are forged into me, like Witchblade; my experiences are intertwined in my life and cannot be disconnected.

And this, too, is why I squee, and celebrate cheese, and smile at silly communities, and revel in airy, fantastical castles in the air like Steve the Oood or preposterous unified theories of future events. They delight me because they are not war. Ingenuity, cleverness, intelligence, and even sarcasm for the greater fun? Count me in! (ETA: That's saying the same thing three times, isn't it? Ingenuity, passion, amusement and sarcasm, then. Can't forget a good snark.)

I'm not asking for pity or argument or (from the chunk of my f-list who aren't fannish) even understanding. Since there are only 1 or 2 people on the f-list who were there at the time, I just needed to explain.

Comments

[karenmiller.livejournal.com]

I wasn't around for it, I believe every word you say, and still my response is What the fuck????

Sometimes fandom behaves like it should be put down like a diseased dog.

But as has been discussed elsewhere, some fans aren't rational people, they are deranged people suffering from clinically identifiable mental illness (the most common appears to be narcisistic personality disorder, in which an individual is actually incapable of admitting differing world views into their world and will resort to violence to defend their position. In other venues, they are known as radical fundamentalists).

You survived, you are stronger for the experience, and you have a welcoming soul. You also know better than to travel that road again ...

[neadods.livejournal.com]

You also know better than to travel that road again ...

I thought I did until I launched in yesterday. I'm more grateful than fingers can type that the response allowed us both to disengage with dignity.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

PS - the same tactics in the B&B war are showing up in the real political wars today, up to and including "If you're not with us, you're against us."

Because the biggest irony of them all? I didn't actually like the third season of Beauty and the Beast. And yet that was where I ended up being "assigned."

[calenorn.livejournal.com]

I always thought "heartfelt" was that stuff preschool teachers used to make flannel boards. Guess not. ;-)

[chelseagirl.livejournal.com]

Wow . . . I've heard you reference the B&B wars before but I had no idea the extent of some of it. I do know some of the B7 people who were in the center of that meltdown, so I've heard similar tales. But just . . . wow.
(And as someone who's both a fan and an academic, good analogy. Yup.)

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

Chiming in with a wow. That does sound worse than academia, and I saw the scars of academia on my mom.

Makes me even more glad for my decision to put fandom down slowly and step away if it ever looks like it's getting vicious like that. Not that it's ever been really tested.

I'm glad you're still around on the internet anyway after that, Nea!

[lagilman]

I think that the B&B wars are why I always find myself -- even at my most geekish -- hanging back a bit and watching, warily. I was merely an observer (I liked the show, but my enthusiasms were elsewhere at the time) and it was scary as hell to see happen, like a car wreck in fast-forward and slow-mo simultaneously.

[jeff-morris.livejournal.com]

Newark Prime. Ah yes.

"From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;"

I got stuck into that one kind of accidentally, got worse because we were friends with the "wrong people". People who were very sick-minded and very creative. I still have some of the stuff we passed around to one another for a good laugh and some relief. That includes my "Save the Meegats" petition. :)

The highlight of that one was at the second DSV con, when I was doing something in the con suite and Laura Virgil ran in and warned me that Mister Asshole was verbally abusing my wife out front. God knows why I went, because heaven knows Red can take care of herself, but went I did and confronted Mister Asshole, murder on my mind. People afterwards told me they took one look at me and feared for the guy's life.

Red, on the other hand, was more pragmatic. She was picking up a chair to smash against Mister Asshole's head if he tried anything. Fortunately for all he was a coward at heart and quickly skulked off.

Now you know why I keep all fandoms at arm's length these days. Long experience has taught me that the joy of community isn't worth the hassle of assholes. :)

JSM

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I'm turning more into a fandom smash-and-grabber; get in, have fun, bail if it gets hairy. Fortunately, since then the fandoms I've been in haven't been so tempestuous. Who stands a chance of going bugwatt, but the whole fandom won't explode, not when the majority of the fans are used to the whole "everything changes, everything ends" nature of the show.

[hildy.livejournal.com]

I watched BatB in bits and pieces when it first aired. The third season hit when I went away to college and initially didn't own a television set, so I was at the mercy of the dorm television or worse the dorm cafe. Either tv could have been changed on a whim. Occasionally my father would remember to tape the episodes for me, but it was catch as catch can. I was just then discovering cons and fandom. Aside from the few zines and the one con party I attended, though, I never really followed up on the fandom. In retrospect, I think how that could have been my first fandom.

Instead McCaffrey fandom was my first. A whole different set of fan wars and scars and PTSD...

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Dare I ask what happened? I thought McCaffrey set limits to be sure that things didn't get too wierd?

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Funny that you should write this since my next blog was going to be about fans/flame wars/ and BNFs but I wanted to write up my Abner experience first and I need to think on what I am going to say since I have to be rather careful as to what I say.

The Icon is me as Vincent by the by *grin*

[neadods.livejournal.com]

my next blog was going to be about fans/flame wars/ and BNFs

I'd like to see that.

Hey, never heard back about the Shore Leave panel, which I'd like to open to puppetry even if you haven't done robotics. Interested? It's getting to the point where I need to put actual names in the blank spots.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Holy cow, that's vicious. I think of wank as snapping, not as attempting to control other people's real-world lives.

Boy. I'm surprised you ever ventioned back into fandom again.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised you ever ventioned back into fandom again.

I am AMAZINGLY stubborn. Also, I think fandom is a gene (seriously, I do) which means I'm predisposed to return anyway.

But... I'm not gonna lie, it was hard there for a while. I stopped writing at all - every time I put hands to keyboard, I could hear some faction or another screaming in my head. I had to go to another fandom and even then, my output was miniscule compared to my glory days. It wasn't until 2 fandoms down the line that writing came easily again, and another three until I had that wonderful feeling of being swept away again. I'd honestly thought that had been beaten out of me.

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

The destroying of a person's real life has, in my memory, happened once in DW fandom. But it was truly a case of someone who was (http://www.mdfsnet.f9.co.uk/Docs/SciFi/DrWho/News2) batshit crazy (http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Nebula/8085/mst/mccoymst.txt), posing as something she wasn't in ways that fooled many fans and con organizers (and AICN) into thinking she had connections and deals she didn't, got exposed, and took some very harsh revenge, losing one fan her job (and, eventually I think, marriage) and bringing police charges into the whole mess. (And, sheesh, even just looking for those links brought up smear garbage as recent as 2002. Amazing.)

[ionlylurkhere.livejournal.com]

*shudders at descriptions of Beauty and the Beast war*

Yeah, I can see how that gives you context ...

I think it's the stages of grieving. Some people are still at Denial, and all this "I go when she goes" stuff is somewhere between Anger and Bargaining. They'll get to despair and then to acceptance soon enough. In the meantime we'll get a lot of "Fix the errors of the evil PTB" fics. Not the end of the world.

The thing is that DW fandom in general is robust against cast changes, 'cos it's happened so many times before. The endless renewal of changing Doctors and companions is what's kept it going so long in the first place. Which is why it's such a pity that relations between new and old fans seem to be deteriorating (though I may just be looking in the wrong places), when this is an ideal time for the old hands to be helping the new ones.

*clings to utopian dreams of everyone being friendly*

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Not the end of the world.

No, not. Not until the loyalty oaths come, and the people are hounded from group to group, etc. But, even knowing that Dr. Who fandom is based on constant change, even knowing it has lasted as long as I've lived... part of me is quietly manning the battlestations. And I didn't even realize it until recently.

[msdori.livejournal.com]

Some people are still at Denial, and all this "I go when she goes" stuff is somewhere between Anger and Bargaining. They'll get to despair and then to acceptance soon enough

The really horrifying thing is that no, some of them will NEVER get to acceptance. There are still BatB fans who refuse to acknowledge the third season. STILL. And it's been sixteen years.

[scarlettgirl.livejournal.com]

Man..and I thought X-Files fandom went batshit...

I saw how destructive the vampire wars were in the BtVS/Angel fandom and saw friendships splinter over the attempted rape. I won't go there because it is a television show and it's supposed to be fun and, as seriously as I can take it, when it becomes destructive it's time to walk away. I have no patience for grand gestures of idiocy.

Except for twats that insist on using netspeak in polite conversation..that makes my blood boil every time.

::gives you Steve the Ood for amusement::

[neadods.livejournal.com]

STEEEEEEVE! *cuddles the Ood. We're the Ood cuddle!*

Every fandom probably has their stories of when people go batshit crazy; heartburn follows every major cast change as the night the day. It's just that the same impulse that drives me into political commentary drives me to apply the same thing to the trivalities of TV fandom too, apparently, and I'm not as over that as I thought.

And... dude! Stopping a charity because a fake guy lost his fake girlfriend? That's a reason for real people to go hungry? *takes deep breath, quotes line from The Librarian - "I hear thorazine comes in vanilla now."*

Except for twats that insist on using netspeak in polite conversation

Leans over... did you SEE that post on T&C yesterday? I was within milliseconds of wanking it over here, I really was. Just because there are some things that should not happen to the English language.

[mtgat]

*jaw drops*

You know, I'd heard that BatB fandom was seriously damaged, but wow. I had no idea. *was fen-inna-box back then and is now glad*

*gives you chocolate, just because*

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Not only merely damaged, but really most sincerly damaged. Ye gods. I used to have the paper trail - the letter zines and the hate mail - just to prove that I wasn't making that crap up, but I finally decided that there was no need to keep that negativity with me and trashed it.

Off to eat chocolate gladly, and snicker at your icon.

both sides (of ours) are valid

[acroyear70.livejournal.com]

i'm recognizing one of your points a bit better, thank you, in that by letting the fans of "character x" (where the mainstream tends to not like, such as Colin Baker or Adric/Matthew Waterhouse) have their place where they can "squee" (i still don't understand THAT part, but i'll leave it alone ;) ) then maybe the emotions that come into play by "exclusion" are lessoned by the emotions of "inclusion".

granted, Who is a bigger place than BatB or B7 (or Van Halen - god did the Roth fans go nutso when Halen mark 2 went to number one without him) with a much longer history of cast changes that are built into the show rather than marking the exception to a stable show. but on the other hand the beginnings of such a thing are slowing showing because there's such a large crowd that only has seen CE and DT (and Rose) and has no basis of comparison that those who follow the show's 43 year history understand and merely accept.

neither of us want to see a "TENNANT_FANS_ONLY" or "CE_IS_THE_ONLY_DOCTOR" community (we'd both rather such an attitude never come into existence), but to your eyes, if someone making one keeps the irrational hatred and intolerance out of the larger core community (rather than dividing it permanently, and damaging everyone's feelings about the show), so be it. In this, agree to a point. On the other hand, my approach with the parody and ridicule was to try to get the emotional "oh, gotta make this community 'cause it doesn't exist yet" mode a little less prevelant.

i just wanted people to think about things a bit more rather than acting on a base "act of passion" - every decision has consequences. in this case the consequences aren't directly on those who make the groups, its the work for those coming into it later to find the "community" that works for them - newbies to Who@LJ are effectively forced to balkanize before they can get anywhere at all.

my problem is that to me, its all one show - i can't just discuss some aspect of Doctor X without cross-referencing comparison to other doctors, other shows, other source material. Peri, for example, now exists in 2 eps of Doctor 5, a season and a half of Doctor 6, a small run of BF audios with 6, a larger run of BF audios with 5, "Miss Brown" in the Stranger, a slew of novels with both doctors, the Slipback audio from '85...If i discuss something about the character, can I draw from all of those sources or do i have to restrict myself because i'm in some "Davison's Doctor" community and thus nothing about Peri & Colin "exists"? (my answer is screw it, i'll say what i want and support it with the source material i need to, but my problem is that i even had to ask such a question in the first place)

Pax

[neadods.livejournal.com]

"squee" (i still don't understand THAT part, but i'll leave it alone ;) )

It's a girl thing. :> So totally a girl thing. So, yeah, not going to make sense to you.

newbies to Who@LJ are effectively forced to balkanize before they can get anywhere at all.

Ah. Now *this* makes me understand much better. And to some degree sympathize, because there are way more communities on my LJ list than I must say I want to keep up with (three Capt. Jack comms alone)... but I have to. For instance, the official Barrowman group isn't doing anything officially with Barrowman this Christmas, but galactic_conman is having an unofficial dinner and a show. (And we all know what that's spawning!)

(my answer is screw it, i'll say what i want and support it with the source material i need to, but my problem is that i even had to ask such a question in the first place)

My response is, support it with the source material you want & don't even bother asking the question. Because so far, it doesn't seem to matter on 95% of the comms. The only solid line I've seen drawn is on Time & Chips, which has had their identity crisis already and decided "We will stay a Rose community" vs becoming "whoever is the companion community." Whether this means a new Companion shipper community or twelve is up in the air.

[amilyn.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I was lucky enough not to be frontlines in either the B&tB or B7 wars, and quietly retreated from the collapse I saw coming in FK fandom, remembering the catastrophic response to the aforementioned fandoms (but which everyone insisted "wouldn't happen here"...gee, Cassandra in Troy, much? I HATE being Cassandra).

But, yeah...this totally covers it and, yeah...it's upsetting every time, looking back, even as a far-off bystander who saw little tidbits of each from far, far away. I can't imagine what it must be for someone who was at Ground Zero. *hugs*

Fanwars

[shawan-7.livejournal.com]

Fanwars seem to happen in all bigger fandoms. With the Internet, it's easier to take the mania somewhere else.

Nea had B&B.
I had the first Star Wars war with letters and obsession. I also had the Rat Patrol meltdown (twice) which for a small fandom seems to have a magnet for WW2 kooks.

There was the Highlander wars with the Ritchie anathama.

Stargate apparently has wars.

Buffy...

Jeff mentions some Trek.

Yeah -- it's good to keep fandom at an arm's length somedays