Quickie Dear Author

[neadods]

A comment and a postcard message.

The anti-rennfaire author I wrote about three letters back? One of the ways she dissed rennies was to have members of the culture make fun of other members of the culture a la "and she makes soap! Soap! All that messing about with pots and crap and do you know what soap sells for at the grocery store? What a waste of time and money!" I was thinking about that today because it's going to be really interesting if that author ever smacks into Tim Myers or Cricket McRae at a cozy con. I'm just sayin'.

2) Postcard to All Suspense Authors, Ever:

Please stop ending your first chapter with anything along the lines of "things were about to get crazy" or "if I knew then what I was getting into," or "that was just the beginning." Dude! It's the first damn chapter! We already KNOW there's going to be more to the story! Either we've already bailed or we're already going to read Chapter 2. You don't have to put a blatant hook there. Really.

Signed,

I just read four books in a row like that and it's started to give me hives.

Comments

[svilleficrecs.livejournal.com]

Re: #2 or at least come up with a blatant hook that's better than "Little did I know then"

[ladyfox7oaks.livejournal.com]

Maybe, "I had this sudden, sinking, feeling..." ?

[fyrdrakken]

There are some people who are so fixated on the products that they've never gotten the appeal of the process. I pity them. (And wonder if this is down to having never in their lives gotten to try their hands at making something from scratch.)

[isabeau.livejournal.com]

There are some people who are so fixated on the products that they've never gotten the appeal of the process. I pity them.

So totally agree. On both counts.

(At one point I told my mom I was teaching myself how to knit socks. Her reaction was along the lines of "but why, when they're so cheap to buy in the store?!" ...thereby totally missing the point. It's not that I need socks; it's that I want the process.)

[flaviarassen.livejournal.com]

And then there's the other point she's ignoring, the one
that truly disgusts me.
Yeah, soap is cheap. In the store.
Unless of course, you're going to, say, Crabtree & Evelyn.
Oh, yeah - making specialized soaps is SUCH a waste that
there's WHOLE CHAINS devoted to selling them....

[fyrdrakken]

There is also that counter: "What I'm making is too unique to find in a store, and it lasts a lot better than the Wal-Mart mass-produced crap -- and actually fits properly, too."

[fyrdrakken]

Happily, my mother's had enough creative enterprises under her belt (and Dad's entire side of the family is like that as well -- Dad's mother had to teach Mom to crochet) that she gets the whole achievement aspect. (In fact, that time I sat her down and showed her some fanvids, she kept unfavorably comparing them to my knitting as "people with too much time on their hands" vs. me having "something to show for it" at the end of my project.) And Mom's mother doesn't make anything at all, but she appreciates that other people can.

There've been a few times where a non-knitter asked me point blank how much the sock yarn cost me, but I've always countered that I'm paying that much for a month or two of entertainment and just having a nice pair of socks at the end as a bonus.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I've always countered that I'm paying that much for a month or two of entertainment and just having a nice pair of socks at the end as a bonus.

I'm totally stealing that explanation! (And it makes the price a lot more palatable, too.)

[fyrdrakken]

And I frequently follow up on that by pointing out that it gives me something to do with my hands while sitting in front of the TV, and that no matter how utterly craptacular the movie or show may have been my time watching it was thus not actually wasted, because I got this much work done during it...

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Yarn Harlot got me started on that, the idea of having knitting everywhere. When I came home from the renfaire with a complete washcloth and (after that) a complete blanket square, I knew I was on to something.

[fyrdrakken]

A significant portion of my Four scarf was knitted during my weekday commute -- especially the amount of time I spend waiting in line at red lights on the way home. I would try to be at the beginning of a very broad stripe by Monday morning -- and then try to have that stripe finished or nearly so by Friday night, and then to crank out the next few narrow stripes until the next big one over the weekend.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

I'm sure this was part of it, although the original author's motivations seem to be putting insults in the mouths of as many sock puppets as she could. As I said, even the people in the rennie set appeared to be ashamed of their own endeavors... costumes were all shabby, crafts were always poorly done and inferior to store-bought ones, and interests such as comic books and the group itself were embarassing guilty pleasures.

I really, really hope RtE runs my review. Really.

[fyrdrakken]

I too would like to see the review, if they've posted it.

And gah! Definitely a lot of contempt for the whole idea of DIY and personal creativity -- which doesn't say a lot of good about how the author views her own craft of writing, unless she's got some sort of conceptual divide going. Like, DIY is great if it's remodeling your house, and creativity is respectable if you're getting paid for it -- but if you have non-mainstream hobbies you're a shameful weirdo and probably a serious loser.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

if you have non-mainstream hobbies you're a shameful weirdo and probably a serious loser.

Quite probably. I get the impression, based on nothing, that someone else suggested that she set her next story at a fair and this is her way of lashing back.

[stoplookingup.livejournal.com]

1. That's just sad. I suppose I shouldn't bother learning how to cook because I can just order take-out. Or drink Ensure. *shakes head* What the hell is wrong with people?

2. Don't these people have editors? (said the editor.)

[neadods.livejournal.com]

To take your points in reverse, I think they're doing it because the first chapter is the pitch to the editor/agent. But once the project has been pitched, I'd love to see those lines gone. By that point in the book, people don't need to be coaxed into continuing to turn the page - the fact that they *made* it to that page is proof!

What the hell is wrong with people?

I don't know if the author was scoring off a personal beef or was asked to write in a setting she didn't like, but the scorn just dripped off the page. Unrelentingly. From every single character. And without any flicker of understanding that the people she didn't like were the very ones who were going to be reading the book!

Congrats, honey, you rocketed to the top of my "won't have in the house" list. I have a feeling that is not what she intended.

[forked.livejournal.com]

Oooh- this just reminded me to say 'Thanks' for the recs for Donna Andrews 'Meg Langslow' series in that post and its comments. I went out and found the first three in the series and devoured them- they're quite fun!

So at least something good came out of the anti-rennfaire author's efforts!

[neadods.livejournal.com]

She's one of the few authors to survive the fifth-book curse. Somewhere between books 5 and 7 I tend to lose interest in series I have just adored until then. She's one of the exceptions.

Although I'm biased and still think Parrots is the best.

[fyrdrakken]

Oh, and I did get Parrots and the page or three I read before sticking it in my "to be read" box were definitely promising. But I have another couple of Wen Spencer books to get through first (since I'd already read the first in the series and then about died discovering that the next one I'd bought was the fourth, and the second and third weren't at the bookstores I could find at D*C or here at home and I had to wait to order them and receive them due to the whole offline-at-D*C thing).

[iko.livejournal.com]

#2: That reminds me of the "little did she/he know what was going to happen next" that some authors do to 'create suspense'. It doesn't for me; it just creates annoyance.

Don't TELL me I'm supposed to be anxious due to the suspense. MAKE me anxious.

[--kali--.livejournal.com]

I will, on the whole, abandon a book for a while if it has chapter endins like that.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

It's Kathy Reichs' one major flaw, but I forgive her for it just as I forgive Terry Pratchett those bizarre opening lines because I know the rest of it will make up for the flaw.

On the other hand, I think I found another reason why. So many books have the first chapter of the next one bound into them, so the hook isn't to keep people reading when they actually have the book, it's to make them buy it!

...still think it should be removed at publication, though.

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

Only her one major flaw? The blurb for Bones to Ashes promises that this will be "Tempe's most personal case yet!" AS OPPOSED TO ALL THOSE OTHER BOOKS? Rule of thumb: any friend of Tempe's is going to suffer.

I love me some Reichs, but seriously!

[neadods.livejournal.com]

AS OPPOSED TO ALL THOSE OTHER BOOKS?

*snicker* I'm a newcomer to Reichs, so I don't know all her cliches yet.

Hey, off topic - have you gotten an email from the soniclipstick gmail address? Nobody's answered, and I was going to use that to set up the newsletter rounds. I'm thinking Monday-Wednesday-Friday pub schedule, with a free-floater over the weekend so Monday's nl isn't outrageous.

[lizbee.livejournal.com]

Yes I have, and I did reply to it.

*flail*

[neutronjockey.livejournal.com]

Please stop ending your first chapter with anything along the lines of "things were about to get crazy" or "if I knew then what I was getting into," or "that was just the beginning."

Wallbang.
Wallbang!
WALLBANG!