Which ending gets voted off the fic?
Sep. 1st, 2008 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
neadodsI keep thinking about Operation Awesome, and how I need to give it that final polish, put it on Teaspoon, and actually give it a little bit of advertising.
But I also keep thinking about how I both like the ending and think it's OTT. So: a poll.
The original ending of Operation Awesome:
EPILOG 2: Cardiff , 3005
Inside the TARDIS, a ginger-haired man in a denim jacket watched a young woman lowering the Chameleon Arch carefully over her dark, elaborately styled hair.
"Donna, are you sure?"
"It's been fun, Doctor, it has. Being Doctor-Donna again, I can't tell you what that's meant to me. But in the end, I'm only human. I had a wonderful life as a human. I'm ready to go back now."
"You're sure this will work?"
"I programmed it myself, of course it will work! Think I trust your Time Lord butterfingers near my brain again? I'm going to remember everything – my first life, my life here, everything – but I’m going to be human again."
He made a scoffing noise.
"Oi! Don't knock my species or I'll knock you!"
"Donna, what will I do without you?"
"Go and find Jack for a pity shag and a trip 'round Neptune." At his bereft expression, she softened. "Find someone new. You need that, Doctor. Not just a companion, but a new companion. Fresh point of view. Keeps you from going stagnant in here." She winked. "Besides, I'm about to go and find Jack and keep him very busy."
"But so far in your future?"
"He's immortal. He'll be there. Left a message for him, didn't we?" Again, she became soothing at the look on his face. "I don't want to be too close to my own time. I died there. I don't want the temptation to find old friends, go to all the old familiar places. Jack 'n' me, we'll be fine. Keeping your knowledge, aren't I? We'll be fantastic."
She threw the switch.
***
Dawn Evans was ushering the children to the park for their weekly storytime when she saw a stranger on her hands and knees by the rock Linda liked to sit on.
"Can I help you?"
The woman jumped up, dusting off her trousers. "No, that's okay. I sma- I dropped something and was just picking up the pieces."
"It's storytime," Linda announced with all the gravitas of a six-year-old. "Would you like to hear a story?"
"That's all right, I'm waiting for someone. Really, I don't want to interrupt."
"Is this yours?" Paul asked, holding up something tiny. "It looks like a hand to an old-fashioned watch."
"Yes it is, very good," the woman said uncomfortably.
"Did you break a watch?" Little Meg had to pull her thumb out of her mouth to ask the question, followed by the inevitable, "Why?"
"Because sometimes, old times are over and shouldn't come back," the woman said, taking the thing from Peter and backing away. "Honestly, I don't want to be a bother. I'll go wait somewhere else."
"It's okay," Dawn said. "If you don't mind children's stories. Which one do you want to hear?" she asked the brood.
"Great-Great-Grandma! Great-Great-Grandma!"
"You tell stories about your own family?" the woman asked.
Dawn laughed. "This family does. My great grandda' passed this one down like it was some big secret that the family had to remember. He said he got it from his great-grandfather… who probably made it up to sound important. All we know for sure that's true is that the Daleks really did steal Earth at some point in the last millenia."
She had turned back to keep Linda from tugging on Meg's hair, and didn't see the woman freeze behind her. Hurrying to get them all involved before she had to break up another spat, Dawn started, "Your great-great-great-great grandmother was named Donna. And do you know what Donna did?"
Three voices chorused, "SHE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"That's right! Once upon a time, there were evil, evil monsters named Daleks..."
***
"Donna? I'm sorry I was late, there was a ... you're crying. If you changed your mind, I'll call the Doctor..."
"No. It's okay, Jack." A soggy giggle. "It's more okay than you know. C'mon. The Earth doesn't save itself, you know."
An alternative from an earlier draft:
EPILOG 2:
Inside the TARDIS, a skinny young man in a suit watched a young woman lowering the Chameleon Arch carefully over her dark, elaborately styled hair.
"Donna, are you sure?"
"It's been fun, Doctor, it has. Being Doctor-Donna again, I can't tell you what that's meant to me. But in the end, I'm only human. I had a wonderful life as a human. I'm ready to go back now."
"You're sure this will work?"
"I programmed it myself, of course it will work! Think I trust your Time Lord butterfingers near my brain again? I'm going to remember everything – my first life, my life here, everything – but I’m going to be human again."
He made a scoffing noise.
"Oi! Don't knock my species or I'll knock you!"
"Donna, what will I do without you?"
"Go and find Jack for a pity shag and a trip 'round Neptune." At his bereft expression, she softened. "Find someone new. You need that, Doctor. Not just a companion, but a new companion. Fresh point of view. Keeps you from going stagnant in here." She winked. "Besides, I'm about to go and find Jack and keep him very busy."
"But so far in your future?"
"He's immortal. He'll be there. Left a message for him, didn't we?" Again, she became soothing at the look on his face. "I don't want to be too close to my own time. I died there. I don't want the temptation to find old friends, go to all the old familiar places. Jack 'n' me, we'll be fine. Keeping your knowledge, aren't I? We'll be fantastic." She'd been trying to keep a light tone, but suddenly the facade dropped. "Promise me," she insisted. "Give me your word you'll do what I asked."
"I..."
"I can't do it! You have to! PROMISE!"
He took a deep breath. "I give you my word. I promise. I'll do everything." "Another deep breath. "I hate goodbyes."
"Then don't say it." A half smile. "You'll know where I am if you need me to save the day again."
She threw the switch.
***
LONDON: 2020
For anyone else, he'd go to the door and knock. But this wasn't anyone else. The Doctor set coordinates for a hill in a park in London.
"Doctor!" Wilf was still scrambling to his feet, almost knocking over the telescope when the Doctor opened the door. "I haven't seen you since Donna's marriage!"
"This is the last time you'll see me, Wilf. But I have a promise to keep. C'mon."
Wilf looked from the tempting TARDIS interior to the Doctor's impassive face back to the TARDIS. "You mean it? I can come?"
"You can come. Just one trip, though!"
Wilf grabbed up his things and was inside before the Doctor had almost finished speaking.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll understand when we get there."
***
CARDIFF: 3005
Dawn Evans was ushering the children to the park for their weekly storytime when she saw two men by the rock that Linda liked to sit on. One of them was gathering up the pieces of something.
"Can I help you?"
The young man looked up. "No, that's okay. Something was sma- broken and I was just picking up the pieces."
"Is this yours?" Paul asked, holding up something tiny he'd found among the leaves. "It looks like a hand to an old-fashioned watch."
"Yes it is, very good," the young man said uncomfortably.
"Did you break a watch?" Little Meg had to pull her thumb out of her mouth to ask the question, followed by the inevitable, "Why?"
"She told me old times are over and shouldn't come back," the young man said to the pieces in his hand. "She told me I'd find it here."
"Did you have a fight?" Meg wanted to know.
Enough! "It's storytime," Dawn told her brood. "Are you going to settle down or are we going to go home?"
The young man looked up. "Do you mind if we listen?"
"It's okay," Dawn said. "If you don't mind children's stories. Which one do you want to hear, as if I don't know?" she asked the kids.
They chanted in unison, "Great-Great-Grandma! Great-Great-Grandma!"
"You tell stories about your own family?" the older man asked.
Dawn laughed. "This family does. My great grandda' passed this one down like it was some big secret that the family had to remember. He said he got it from his great-grandfather, who probably made it up. Daleks? The planet Earth being stolen right out of orbit? It's a bit silly, really, but they love it."
She had turned back to keep Linda from tugging on Meg's hair, and didn't see the old man freeze behind her. Hurrying to get them all involved before she had to break up another spat, Dawn started, "Your great-great-great-great grandmother was named Donna. And do you know what Donna did?"
Three voices chorused, "SHE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"That's right! Once upon a time, there were evil, evil monsters named Daleks..."
When she finished, the men thanked her quietly and left. Dawn would wonder for years why the old one was trying not to cry.
[Poll #1251830]
(I'm frankly trying not to think about how this post is going to get much more of a response than the one from this morning, but am trying to chalk this up to the international flavor of my flist.)
But I also keep thinking about how I both like the ending and think it's OTT. So: a poll.
The original ending of Operation Awesome:
EPILOG 2: Cardiff , 3005
Inside the TARDIS, a ginger-haired man in a denim jacket watched a young woman lowering the Chameleon Arch carefully over her dark, elaborately styled hair.
"Donna, are you sure?"
"It's been fun, Doctor, it has. Being Doctor-Donna again, I can't tell you what that's meant to me. But in the end, I'm only human. I had a wonderful life as a human. I'm ready to go back now."
"You're sure this will work?"
"I programmed it myself, of course it will work! Think I trust your Time Lord butterfingers near my brain again? I'm going to remember everything – my first life, my life here, everything – but I’m going to be human again."
He made a scoffing noise.
"Oi! Don't knock my species or I'll knock you!"
"Donna, what will I do without you?"
"Go and find Jack for a pity shag and a trip 'round Neptune." At his bereft expression, she softened. "Find someone new. You need that, Doctor. Not just a companion, but a new companion. Fresh point of view. Keeps you from going stagnant in here." She winked. "Besides, I'm about to go and find Jack and keep him very busy."
"But so far in your future?"
"He's immortal. He'll be there. Left a message for him, didn't we?" Again, she became soothing at the look on his face. "I don't want to be too close to my own time. I died there. I don't want the temptation to find old friends, go to all the old familiar places. Jack 'n' me, we'll be fine. Keeping your knowledge, aren't I? We'll be fantastic."
She threw the switch.
***
Dawn Evans was ushering the children to the park for their weekly storytime when she saw a stranger on her hands and knees by the rock Linda liked to sit on.
"Can I help you?"
The woman jumped up, dusting off her trousers. "No, that's okay. I sma- I dropped something and was just picking up the pieces."
"It's storytime," Linda announced with all the gravitas of a six-year-old. "Would you like to hear a story?"
"That's all right, I'm waiting for someone. Really, I don't want to interrupt."
"Is this yours?" Paul asked, holding up something tiny. "It looks like a hand to an old-fashioned watch."
"Yes it is, very good," the woman said uncomfortably.
"Did you break a watch?" Little Meg had to pull her thumb out of her mouth to ask the question, followed by the inevitable, "Why?"
"Because sometimes, old times are over and shouldn't come back," the woman said, taking the thing from Peter and backing away. "Honestly, I don't want to be a bother. I'll go wait somewhere else."
"It's okay," Dawn said. "If you don't mind children's stories. Which one do you want to hear?" she asked the brood.
"Great-Great-Grandma! Great-Great-Grandma!"
"You tell stories about your own family?" the woman asked.
Dawn laughed. "This family does. My great grandda' passed this one down like it was some big secret that the family had to remember. He said he got it from his great-grandfather… who probably made it up to sound important. All we know for sure that's true is that the Daleks really did steal Earth at some point in the last millenia."
She had turned back to keep Linda from tugging on Meg's hair, and didn't see the woman freeze behind her. Hurrying to get them all involved before she had to break up another spat, Dawn started, "Your great-great-great-great grandmother was named Donna. And do you know what Donna did?"
Three voices chorused, "SHE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"That's right! Once upon a time, there were evil, evil monsters named Daleks..."
***
"Donna? I'm sorry I was late, there was a ... you're crying. If you changed your mind, I'll call the Doctor..."
"No. It's okay, Jack." A soggy giggle. "It's more okay than you know. C'mon. The Earth doesn't save itself, you know."
An alternative from an earlier draft:
EPILOG 2:
Inside the TARDIS, a skinny young man in a suit watched a young woman lowering the Chameleon Arch carefully over her dark, elaborately styled hair.
"Donna, are you sure?"
"It's been fun, Doctor, it has. Being Doctor-Donna again, I can't tell you what that's meant to me. But in the end, I'm only human. I had a wonderful life as a human. I'm ready to go back now."
"You're sure this will work?"
"I programmed it myself, of course it will work! Think I trust your Time Lord butterfingers near my brain again? I'm going to remember everything – my first life, my life here, everything – but I’m going to be human again."
He made a scoffing noise.
"Oi! Don't knock my species or I'll knock you!"
"Donna, what will I do without you?"
"Go and find Jack for a pity shag and a trip 'round Neptune." At his bereft expression, she softened. "Find someone new. You need that, Doctor. Not just a companion, but a new companion. Fresh point of view. Keeps you from going stagnant in here." She winked. "Besides, I'm about to go and find Jack and keep him very busy."
"But so far in your future?"
"He's immortal. He'll be there. Left a message for him, didn't we?" Again, she became soothing at the look on his face. "I don't want to be too close to my own time. I died there. I don't want the temptation to find old friends, go to all the old familiar places. Jack 'n' me, we'll be fine. Keeping your knowledge, aren't I? We'll be fantastic." She'd been trying to keep a light tone, but suddenly the facade dropped. "Promise me," she insisted. "Give me your word you'll do what I asked."
"I..."
"I can't do it! You have to! PROMISE!"
He took a deep breath. "I give you my word. I promise. I'll do everything." "Another deep breath. "I hate goodbyes."
"Then don't say it." A half smile. "You'll know where I am if you need me to save the day again."
She threw the switch.
***
LONDON: 2020
For anyone else, he'd go to the door and knock. But this wasn't anyone else. The Doctor set coordinates for a hill in a park in London.
"Doctor!" Wilf was still scrambling to his feet, almost knocking over the telescope when the Doctor opened the door. "I haven't seen you since Donna's marriage!"
"This is the last time you'll see me, Wilf. But I have a promise to keep. C'mon."
Wilf looked from the tempting TARDIS interior to the Doctor's impassive face back to the TARDIS. "You mean it? I can come?"
"You can come. Just one trip, though!"
Wilf grabbed up his things and was inside before the Doctor had almost finished speaking.
"Where are we going?"
"You'll understand when we get there."
***
CARDIFF: 3005
Dawn Evans was ushering the children to the park for their weekly storytime when she saw two men by the rock that Linda liked to sit on. One of them was gathering up the pieces of something.
"Can I help you?"
The young man looked up. "No, that's okay. Something was sma- broken and I was just picking up the pieces."
"Is this yours?" Paul asked, holding up something tiny he'd found among the leaves. "It looks like a hand to an old-fashioned watch."
"Yes it is, very good," the young man said uncomfortably.
"Did you break a watch?" Little Meg had to pull her thumb out of her mouth to ask the question, followed by the inevitable, "Why?"
"She told me old times are over and shouldn't come back," the young man said to the pieces in his hand. "She told me I'd find it here."
"Did you have a fight?" Meg wanted to know.
Enough! "It's storytime," Dawn told her brood. "Are you going to settle down or are we going to go home?"
The young man looked up. "Do you mind if we listen?"
"It's okay," Dawn said. "If you don't mind children's stories. Which one do you want to hear, as if I don't know?" she asked the kids.
They chanted in unison, "Great-Great-Grandma! Great-Great-Grandma!"
"You tell stories about your own family?" the older man asked.
Dawn laughed. "This family does. My great grandda' passed this one down like it was some big secret that the family had to remember. He said he got it from his great-grandfather, who probably made it up. Daleks? The planet Earth being stolen right out of orbit? It's a bit silly, really, but they love it."
She had turned back to keep Linda from tugging on Meg's hair, and didn't see the old man freeze behind her. Hurrying to get them all involved before she had to break up another spat, Dawn started, "Your great-great-great-great grandmother was named Donna. And do you know what Donna did?"
Three voices chorused, "SHE SAVED THE WORLD!"
"That's right! Once upon a time, there were evil, evil monsters named Daleks..."
When she finished, the men thanked her quietly and left. Dawn would wonder for years why the old one was trying not to cry.
[Poll #1251830]
(I'm frankly trying not to think about how this post is going to get much more of a response than the one from this morning, but am trying to chalk this up to the international flavor of my flist.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 07:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 07:46 pm (UTC)In the pity shag (!) par, it's 'go and find . . .' It's OK the first time, but not the second mention..
London 2020: Hill *in* a park, not on a park.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 10:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 08:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-01 09:08 pm (UTC)(I think I accidentally clicked the wrong one in the poll -- too quick on the mouse-trigger today, sorry.)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 01:55 am (UTC)Also, Ten is the nostalgic regeneration, and I somehow don't see Eleven (or Twelve or Thirteen) not being able to let go of past companions.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 02:23 am (UTC)When she finished, the men thanked her quietly and left. Dawn would wonder for years why the old one was trying not to cry.
But I think that I prefer it being Eleven that Donna leaves behind, not Ten. Ten has lost far, far too many people, and to lose Donna after he found her again and she's travelled with him for a long time might just be devastating. I don't want another image in my mind like the end of Journey's End.
So my favourite ending is a combination of the two: Donna leaving Eleven, and the Doctor going to find Wilf (though, okay, I could see it being a problem if Wilf hasn't ever seen Eleven). And, honestly, I quite liked the glimpse of Jack at the end, but I suppose it's not needed - we know she'll find him.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 10:17 am (UTC)That was my problem too. Actually getting Wilf into the TARDIS can't take long because it's not the point of the scene, but his natural reaction to seeing a "stranger" with the TARDIS would probably be to try to fight said stranger in defense of the Doctor and his presumably hijacked ship.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 11:46 pm (UTC)An alternative that occurs to me (yes, I hate Ten being alone and abandoned once again that much) is that perhaps they could already have met, during a recent adventure, someone who'd be a great companion and who hit it off well with the Doctor. So Donna, instead of saying 'Find someone', could say 'go back and ask her/him'.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 12:53 am (UTC)(Although, if it makes you feel better, if I can wedge in a line about how they didn't go straight back to Wilf's home, I'm totally up for that. Wilf would make a *fabulous* companion!)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 12:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-02 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-03 11:53 pm (UTC)