Thin Orange Line From The Other Side
Aug. 11th, 2010 10:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
This morning, I got a message pointing me at a blog called The Daddy Files. As the name suggests, it's a blog about father Aaron, his wife MJ, and his young son, and on the whole it seems to be of the "my kid did something adorable today" ilk.
Until recently, when they discovered that their second child was dying in utero, and the horrific realization that it could not, in any way, be helped. I don't like children much, but who could not be absolutely gutted by the lines Because a dad is supposed to protect his kids at all costs, yet my son or daughter is dying. What kind of daddy lets his baby die?
They decided to abort the nonviable fetus, to spare MJ more pain and physical complications of an in-utero death. This decision was not easily nor lightly made.
You KNOW what's coming next, don't you?
They had to run a gauntlet of protesters. There's no mention of escorts; it sounds like they had to thread through a group without any support, and it made her break down. Saving a baby? The "baby" was dying. Without knowing one solitary thing about her or why we were there, they inserted themselves directly into our nightmare and made it that much worse. So Aaron grabbed his cell phone camera and went out to exercise his own First Amendment rights. Several people in the comments sounded utterly shocked; frankly, it sounded like any Saturday in front of the quiet clinic to me. Sometimes boyfriends go down to talk to them; I've heard almost everything said word for word except for the bit about filming, and nobody called him Satan and said he'd burn in hell. Other than that, it could have been our clinic.
(By the way, I think it's page 3 of the comments where someone talks about one of the crisis pregnancy centers she went to that talked her out of aborting by promising her what she needed to stay off welfare - a place to stay and daycare for the baby while she worked. Only as soon as the baby was born, the person who made those promises literally could not be found, and nobody else knew anything about the arrangement. She and the infant end up in a homeless shelter.)
MJ speaks out. We were all taunted by these strangers who think they know what is best for us. How do perfect strangers know how we feel? As I entered the building I never had such hatred for those people. I wanted to go across the street and tell the ones who just yelled to me that I was killing my unborn child that it was the other way around. The baby was killing me. (We also find out the ending of the story of the video made in the previous post.)
Aaron memorializes his daughter Alexandra and decides that her brief flicker of life had meaning. Alex may never have seen the light of day, but it’s because of her I was able to shine a light on the bullying and fear-mongering being performed on “God’s behalf.”
And now that's a recurring issue on the blog. Appalling emails asking why stillbirthing a corpse months later is all that bad and his father's anti-protester article and comments on an HBO documentary about an abortion clinic and an anti-abortion crisis pregnancy center across the street from each other.
This is why I do it. Because no one has the right to decide, in advance and in abstentia, what happens to women. And no woman already in trouble should have to thread the gauntlet alone.
Until recently, when they discovered that their second child was dying in utero, and the horrific realization that it could not, in any way, be helped. I don't like children much, but who could not be absolutely gutted by the lines Because a dad is supposed to protect his kids at all costs, yet my son or daughter is dying. What kind of daddy lets his baby die?
They decided to abort the nonviable fetus, to spare MJ more pain and physical complications of an in-utero death. This decision was not easily nor lightly made.
You KNOW what's coming next, don't you?
They had to run a gauntlet of protesters. There's no mention of escorts; it sounds like they had to thread through a group without any support, and it made her break down. Saving a baby? The "baby" was dying. Without knowing one solitary thing about her or why we were there, they inserted themselves directly into our nightmare and made it that much worse. So Aaron grabbed his cell phone camera and went out to exercise his own First Amendment rights. Several people in the comments sounded utterly shocked; frankly, it sounded like any Saturday in front of the quiet clinic to me. Sometimes boyfriends go down to talk to them; I've heard almost everything said word for word except for the bit about filming, and nobody called him Satan and said he'd burn in hell. Other than that, it could have been our clinic.
(By the way, I think it's page 3 of the comments where someone talks about one of the crisis pregnancy centers she went to that talked her out of aborting by promising her what she needed to stay off welfare - a place to stay and daycare for the baby while she worked. Only as soon as the baby was born, the person who made those promises literally could not be found, and nobody else knew anything about the arrangement. She and the infant end up in a homeless shelter.)
MJ speaks out. We were all taunted by these strangers who think they know what is best for us. How do perfect strangers know how we feel? As I entered the building I never had such hatred for those people. I wanted to go across the street and tell the ones who just yelled to me that I was killing my unborn child that it was the other way around. The baby was killing me. (We also find out the ending of the story of the video made in the previous post.)
Aaron memorializes his daughter Alexandra and decides that her brief flicker of life had meaning. Alex may never have seen the light of day, but it’s because of her I was able to shine a light on the bullying and fear-mongering being performed on “God’s behalf.”
And now that's a recurring issue on the blog. Appalling emails asking why stillbirthing a corpse months later is all that bad and his father's anti-protester article and comments on an HBO documentary about an abortion clinic and an anti-abortion crisis pregnancy center across the street from each other.
This is why I do it. Because no one has the right to decide, in advance and in abstentia, what happens to women. And no woman already in trouble should have to thread the gauntlet alone.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 03:15 am (UTC)And the completely sick thing about that is that some of those protesters would argue that the baby had a greater right to a chance at life than she did :(
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Date: 2010-08-12 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 01:18 am (UTC)(icon refers to posters, not you!)
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Date: 2010-08-13 02:31 am (UTC)The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 04:20 am (UTC)Unless of course it's not about support, but using it as an excuse to harass people because you like it. And because you don't want to face that you're an asshat to want to do that, you mask it in some sort of "righteous cause".
There is nothing righteous about causing people hurt. Nothing.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 02:36 pm (UTC)As far as I can tell - and I'm hardly unbiased - it's the hope that one unwanted fetus can be "saved" by scaring off the woman from getting an abortion.
That nothing is known about the health of the fetus (or, for that matter, child abuse statistics) doesn't enter into the equation. Life, any life, including one doomed to end in hours=good.
I once had someone tell me with a straight face that it was better for someone I know to have been born to the life she led (which included pedophilic rape) than to be aborted. He even used the term "glorious" that she existed, even if she existed to have told me that *she* would have preferred to have never been born.
(This woman is now doing pretty well for herself, but when someone tells me "I would rather have been aborted than been born," I'm going to take their word for it.)
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Date: 2010-08-12 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 04:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 04:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 12:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 02:29 pm (UTC)I am appalled at what Aaron and MJ had to experience. It isn't hard enough to deal with the loss of a child but they have protesters trying to blame them for it? Despicable.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 02:41 pm (UTC)I was tempted to waddle right up to them!
If there's no escort service there... well, how are your organizing skills?
40 Days/40 nights is a twice-a-year regular "thing" in protesting. Also several festivites at the end of January to mark Roe v Wade.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 05:50 pm (UTC)I am trying to put myself in MJ's shoes. If I was told that my baby was dying and I needed an abortion to save my life.. and I walked into the clinic.. and someone begged me to "choose life" I would flip the hell out on them.
To be honest, I am not sure where exactly I fall on the pro-life and pro-choice debate because it is not black and white to me. But what I do believe is that no woman deserves to be harassed EVER for making a decision that she feels is best for her and that harassment makes me sick.
Also, when women miscarry, do they go to an abortion clinic for the procedures they need? Or is that done in the hospital? I was just thinking how doubly horrible it would be to need a d&c and having to walk through protesters that are screaming, "Choose life" at you.
When I was in college, there was a website going around where a guy photographed the license plates of cars outside the clinic and the women who entered. It was technically legal because they were parked on public property. Sickening, isn't it?
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Date: 2010-08-12 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 12:39 am (UTC)THIS, THIS, THIS! Being pro-abortion doesn't mean not supporting women choosing to have children. It's not forcing women to go either way.
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Date: 2010-08-12 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 05:37 pm (UTC)Tell me more about this "Pledge-a-Picket" drive. I don't know anything about it. Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 10:26 pm (UTC)Then you make a sign to post prominently in the clinic's front window. It says, "Thank you, protesters, for helping us raise money" with one of those thermometer graphics showing how much money, and you update it every day. And at the end of the 40 Days, issue a press release describing the program and announcing how much money you brought in. You'll need some way to take a picture of the protesters each day, to use as your official count; and a certificate of appreciation for each donor, sent when you get the money, is a nice touch.
This drives the wingnuts fucking insane. NOW used it to raise money for Planned Parenthood off an anti-choice protest march in Nashville, and it completely killed the march in just 2 years. Publicizing the intent of such activities has caused Fr*d Ph*lps to change his mind about showing up to several events where he'd previously announced that he was going to be putting on his hate show. It's the absolutely perfect, unanswerable counter-tactic, because they can't face the idea that THEY are helping the people they hate.
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Date: 2010-08-12 11:48 pm (UTC)I love that it doesn't attack the protesters in any way but instead, turns a negative into a positive and helps out the clinic in the process. Fantastic!
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Date: 2010-08-13 03:41 am (UTC)Curious...
Date: 2010-08-13 12:03 am (UTC)Re: Curious...
Date: 2010-08-13 12:06 am (UTC)Re: Curious...
Date: 2010-08-13 12:38 am (UTC)Re: Curious...
Date: 2010-08-13 03:39 am (UTC)Re: Curious...
Date: 2010-08-13 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 12:32 am (UTC)Pledge a Picket works like this - you get people to pledge $x per protester and/or $y for how long a protester stays. And so the protesters start making money for the thing they're protesting.
The first time I heard of it, the people doing pledge a picket had a blackboard, saying "Thank you, protesters, you've made $z for us" and kept updating it.
MUCH better description above. If you can't to it right now... well, you'll have another chance at Lent or during Roe v Wade.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 03:50 pm (UTC)So you don't want to spend your vacation money in Chile, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, or the Dominican Republic.
I have a feeling that other woman-hating governments have the same result, but these are the ones I know about.
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Date: 2010-08-12 04:39 pm (UTC)And yet there are still people pushing for just that here in America. Palin comes to mind, although she disingenously dodges the life and health issue and insists that it's "antifeminist" to allow abortion because it's "telling women they aren't strong enough to cope."
As opposed, of course, to the great feminism in making women's choices for them. I guess it's women's rights if one woman thinks she has the right to make that blanket decision - as always, in advance and in abstentia - for other women.
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Date: 2010-08-12 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 08:10 pm (UTC)This blog has brough tears to my eyes. When I see you again in real life - I owe you a drink for doing what you do.
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Date: 2010-08-13 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-13 10:19 pm (UTC)