Creature of Mad Enthusiasms

This is a post about depression. It links to a series of other posts that I think are excellent, important reading but all the same, TRIGGER WARNING FOR EVERYTHING BELOW THIS LINE.

First, via penguineggs, is a House of Commons debate that touches, among other things, on OCD and depression and depression should be treated. Not just treated in the sense of "trying to make it go away" but in the sense of "stop treating it like a life and career-ending stigma and lump it in with all the other health issues that need to be recognized and managed but not judged."

And that wonderful dry British wit is in full evidence with lines like "I am delighted to say that I have been a practising fruitcake for 31 years."

The next link is infinitely darker, but if you've never been in a depressive crash, you absolutely MUST read it to understand what it's like. Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed... And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge.

Or, as The Bloggess Jenny Lawson puts it succinctly, Depression Lies. (I can't recommend The Bloggess highly enough. When Jenny isn't writing stuff that will make you laugh until you cry, she writes some very, VERY powerful stuff about depression that will flat-out make you cry -- but also not make you feel alone, especially if you read the hundreds and hundreds of supportive comments. The most powerful posts about depression are Tighrope Walker, The Fight Goes On, Wow, and It Comes Around and Around, in that order.)

The reason why I'm writing this post today is that I came to a startled realization that I'm in a depressive slump and probably have been for a couple of weeks. And the thing is, when the depression is *bad* it usually has a big trigger and is as easily recognized as the prelude to The Sound of Silence (Hello, Darkness, my old friend).

But when it's mild, when it's weak, it can take ages to realize that I'm not tired all the time and uninterested in anything and trying to live on Ritz crackers and lemonade because of (check as many as apply) I'm trying not to catch M's cold/I'm recovering from the terror of the derecho/I'm physically stunned by the heatwave. I've avoided the cold, I didn't freak at the mild thunderstorm a couple nights ago, and the heat has broken. And still I'm sitting here, with kittens in full "ZOMG, lookit the world!!!1eleventy1!!" mode around me thinking "is it worth going to knit night? Do I even want dinner?"

And *then* I start second-guessing decisions I've made, and that's where the true madness lies. CBT therapy, which is what I had, is based on judging your thoughts against 10 cognitive distortions and number 8, the "Should statement" is my particular nemesis.

I *should* be volunteering for clinic work. After all, I made a resolution to go once a month. (Recent decision: stop going when the weather's over 85 degrees because I'm not physically up to it.)

I *should* be more careful with my money. (Recent decision: fuck the debt, I'm going to live with 2 months more of it and order the Little Free Library I really, really want and not the budget one.)

And bizarrely the most controversial in my mind, I *should* be gearing up for the Ravellenic Games, after all, I've talked about them, pimped them, begged my way onto a team, picked a project... and recently decided to scratch from Team Sherlocked. It's not that I don't support the Games or want to do it (or even that I'm not planning on playing the home game); it's that I looked at how much everyone else was putting into it and thought "I'm not ready for that right now."

And NOW I'm making myself crazyer second-guessing everything, because when I'm crashing, mild or not, I don't trust myself to make good decisions even on the most inconsequential of things.

I figured I'd probably better clear out the linkdump post before I go buggering off to Connecticut without a computer. The linkdump, in case anyone cares, is a private post where I throw all the things of interest I find so I can find & deal with 'em later. Usually this is Sherlock stuff these days, although right now it's full of Ikea hacks and Ravelympics Ravelry Games pattern ideas.

Cat-Related Links
Many of the Ikea hack pages are for things I'm kicking around doing in the renovation, but I've got enough pet owners on the flist that I figure these two covered litter-scatter-containing cat litter hacks are of general interest.

Sherlock Links
The only actual fic in this part of the proceedings is Cold Burn, a magical AU in which Sherlock's lonliness pulls something - someone - between the worlds to be his companion. (To be honest, this isn't a OMG, READ THIS, BEST STORY EVER! rec, but it intrigued me and has a lovely otherworldly feel.)

THESE are the OMG, READ THIS recs:
Audio and transcript of Curly's speech about canonical and Sherlock fandom from Scintillation of Scions
We love Sherlock Holmes. We are the same. The Sherlock generation just has more toys to play with. And yes, it is intimidating, and yes it’s all changing quite quickly. But it’s a good change. So this is an open invitation for every person who may ever hear or read this. Interact with the young fans. Invite them to your meetings. Talk Sherlock Holmes with them. Don’t underestimate them. Just because we blog doesn’t mean we’re not genuine and earnest, or intelligent. The hesitation goes both ways though. You young’uns, newbies, and those who only came in with BBC Sherlock, don’t be afraid. Read the canon. Explore the world. Be willing to be taught. I have never met a more gracious group of people in my life. Try. You won’t regret it.

BSI Editor's Gas-Lamp published in BSI Journal welcoming new fandom and Baker St. Babe response (full text of both)
“Many in today’s audience are almost aggressively passionate in sharing their affection for Holmes and Watson, and do so in ways unimagined even ten years ago. The new social media allow international, immediate, and wide-ranging conversation encompassing words and pictures both moving and still.
...
I am thrilled and happily reassured to see that elder statesmen & stateswomen of the Sherlockian world are flexible enough to imagine a world that might be ‘just slightly’ different than the world they thought would continue unchanged forever

I have now left and re-entered three fandoms in my life. Two of them, Doctor Who and Sherlock Holmes, were hopping. Yes, there were generational clashes. I know someone who gives himself huge fan points for not leaving Who during the hiatus; that I was a fan back in the day "doesn't count" as far as he figures. (Thing is... he doesn't get to figure for me. No matter how often he tries.) Holmes - well, even now there are plenty of old-school fans who can whip my ass in a trivia quiz and will continue to do so. I'm finding my niche as "audio girl" straddling canon, pastiche, and Sherlock, and I'm happy with it.

I'm staying in both.

I didn't stay long when I went back to Beauty and the Beast. Without anything new to feed on the fandom had, for lack of a better phrase, ossified. Rituals had built up over time and were not to be deviated from. The conversations were the same as they'd been 20 years previously.

With fixed canon and a century to argue over it, certain things have gotten a bit rigid at the edges in Holmes fandom; there is a language and a format - scion societies, and a traditional toast to The Woman come to mind. But it's also a fandom that has seen a ton of pastiches along the line - enough to know to be flexible or die. Enough to welcome and embrace the new - new fans, new versions. There's a guy in my local society, been there for years, who apparently HATES HATES HATES all video adaptations of Holmes, up to and including Jeremy Brett of sainted memory.

He's a massive Sherlock fan.

Okay, enough pontification! There are other BBC Sherlock Links

I'm gonna send you over to Dame Ruth's for her cracky vid rec and the hypnotic animated .gif in the comments.

All the Holmeses; All the Watsons (an Elementary cartoon). Watson, you 5-continent horndog.

More on a previously recced FALL theory. From the same source, because this made me giggle: The Water Bottle Problem. Mostly recced for love of the codicil: Did a post about a water bottle in the background really just get more than 1000 notes in under three hours? Oh, fandom. Never change.


The Story of Ravelympics The Ravelry Games, with links
Let me 'splain. No, is too much. Let me sum up, in a highly colloquial hypothetical conversation.

US OLYMPIC COMMITTEE: My lawyers have just discovered you gave away a pin called "Ravelympics".
RAVELRY (an international community for knitters and crocheters): Not anymore, you asked us not to.
USOC: Yeah, only now we've taken a really good look at your site and we're about to put our bitch boots on.
RAV: WTF? We took the pin down.
USOC: Three times now you've had this thing called Ravelympics and it coincides with the Olympics.
RAV: That would be the point, yes.
USOC: TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT, TRIPLED!
RAV: Or at least squared; this is the second time we've dealt with you. Mind you, that there is a second time ought to be a hint that someone has a poker lodged somewhere inappropriate.
USOC: Thou Shalt Knock It The Hell Off.
RAV: Ravelry Games? Will you get heartburn over Ravelry Games.
USOC: We'd like to, but our lawyer says we can't copyright that. Also, remove all these patterns with rings on them.
RAV: Okay, we'll remove trademark infringement patterns, but you do realize that at least one of those isn't a pattern, it's someone just posting a picture of something they did?
USOC: Don't care. It goes. We will protect our copyright and the dignity of our games. Your whole concept is denigrating to the games and disrespectful of the athletes.
RAVELRY: YOU SAID WHAT NOW? OH IT! IS! FUCKING! ON!
USOC: WOW, there are a shitload of people pissed at us. Let's issue an apology. It was standard boilerplate, honest! Send us knitted stuff? That would be cool?
RAVELRY: "Denigrate" is in all your C&D letters? NOT. FUCKING. GOOD. ENOUGH. APOLOGY.
USOC: Whoa, fuck, you're still piling on. We have to protect our trademark, but yeah, bad wording. Really really bad wording. Really really not what you're all about. Honestly, we're sorry. Please don't hurt us with all those pointy sticks

I think I'm going to learn doubleknitting for my entry this year. A small project, but an educational one.

Oh, and because all things are better with Matt being a dork around the world, Where the Hell is Matt has a new video.

For someone who dropped working on the newsletters because scanning through so much and then writing the links was getting to me -- and I worked on the "little" newsletter! -- I've let my linkdump post get to terrifying propositions. So even though I'd normally break this up into posts of various topics, y'all are just going to have to poke through for the topic(s) of most personal interest.

THIN ORANGE LINE
WACDTF is about to start asking for volunteers to cover clinics in Annapolis. For training and other information, please check their website.

CABIN PRESSURE: The Traveling Lemon Project
Let me explain. No is too much; let me sum up. The Qikiqtarjuaq episode of Cabin Pressure (available for $2 on iTunes!) introduced the concept of the Travelling Lemon game. pudupudu decided that it would be really nice for fans to take pictures of lemons by national landmarks and send them to writer John Finnemore. This project has included Roger Allum's confused but in-character posing and citrus-photobombing Ben Cumberbatch as he signed in NYC.

DISCWORLD
If you read only one link from this post, let it be Mr. Vimes'd Go Spare, a brilliant fic about the consequences as Sam Vimes passes from life and into Watch legend.
Also, if you didn't know, the North American Discworld con is in Baltimore in 2013.

DOCTOR WHO
The Bigger on the Inside shawl pattern This is so totally going to turn into my "the convention hotel is too cold" project.
Fan-made 50th Anniversary tribute vid; The Tale of a Madman in a Box

SHERLOCK STUFF
A general note: All S2 spoiler cuts come off on Memorial Day. I will continue to use the 4-letter acronyms for the episodes because I like them.

Misc, no spoilers
There is discussion of bringing the Frankenstein play to Broadway, with Cumberbatch.
Simon Pegg & Ben Cumberbatch fooling around on Twitter
Preorders are now available for Sherlock's Home: The Empty House, a book to aid the saving of Undershaw.
MetroeXpress article about the Save Undershaw flash mob in Trefalger Sq.
B.C. boggles with great diplomacy over slash and crossover art
Flickr photostream of BC in NYC
In a NY Times interview, Benedict Cumberbatch mentions seeing Otters That Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch. redscharlach dies.
I just love this picture
redpanda13 pointed me at this giggle-worthy t-shirt, while beledibabe showed me this one.

General Fic rec (No Spoilers)
I've recced the pixel version of "Adequacies", in which Sherlock tries to figure out how to help John's nightmares. Now there's podfic.
The Chronicle of Unfinished-ness It took 30 years for John and Sherlock to actually have the perfect date.
Crack from the meme: Sherlock uses ventriloquism to make the skull talk to John
I may have recced this already: Auto correct gets smutty


( NYC Interviews & Other nonfic S2 Links (SPOILERS) )

( S2 SPOILER fic, vids, etc. )

S3 Information
Season 3 will be filmed in 2013 and will air in the UK and then PBS that year.

DO NOT EVEN THINK OF CLICKING UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN S2:
*SPOILER*SPOILER* Mark Gatiss drops a hint *SPOILER*SPOILER*
SAME SPOILER different article


( Sheep and Wool Festival )

Also, for a non-drinker, it's a bit startling that afterwards, I bought 2.5 *cases* of wine at Linganore. It's my year's supply of cooking wine: a bottle a month of May wine, 6 meads (I bought it for poaching chicken; I was told that people swear by doing ham in it and now I can't wait to try), 6 of merlot (pot roast) and 6 traminette (poaching pears, although I'll also give the mead a whirl at that). I've also got 2 bottles of chocovin and one "adult chocolate milk" at the Philly flower show, which I think have a future in truffles. Literally.

Whole Bunch O'Stuff

BOOK LOVERS
For people who like the idea of the Book Thing but don't live near it or other libraries, I've just become aware of the Little Free Library project, in which people build little libraries as book swap places. My area's not hurting for real libraries, and there's the Thing, but I'm seriously tempted to set one up myself. You can buy 'em or build 'em.

The Little Free Library is hoping for them to spring up along places where people would be naturally able to get to them, like bike paths. It's a good idea - I can't help but think of Cracker Barrel, which rents audiobooks by the day, which can be dropped off at any other Cracker Barrel.


SHAKESPEARE FANS
The British Library is selling a CD of Shakespeare done in Original Pronunciation Alas, excerpts and not a whole production.


KNITTERS
Must Knit TV, an article on fans knitting what they see onscreen, leading off with the Watson oatmeal sweater.


SHERLOCK/SHERLOCK HOLMES NONFICTION
I'm feeling a bit lazy to find all the parts, so I'm just going to say that MX Publishing has the entire Great Sherlock Holmes Debate 2 on their Tumblr feed
The Radio Times discusses the GSH Debate

Ben Cumberbatch's list of favorite songs. Martin Freeman gets a shoutout.

As I've mentioned earlier, the newest editions of canon have introductions from the cast & crew of Sherlock. Hat tip to Shaddicted for posting Martin's and Ben's (And if anyone sees Moffat's or Gatiss', I want to read them)

I'm assuming that everyone saw the "Otters That Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch" that went mega-viral a week or so ago. redscharlach muses on doomed follow-ups. Some of them are funnier than the original, IMO.


SHERLOCK FIC
I don't think anything will top "It Feels Like Home When I'm With You" as a ghost story AU, but Most Ghosts Are Idiots part 1 and part 2 is an interesting take on how it might be if Sherlock was the ghost.

I'm making this one public so people can help me keep an eye on it: kholly's podfic post, in which Family Affairs is slowly being released in podfic form.

Post-Fall Spoilers: 13 Hours 13 hours in which Mycroft didn't know what was going on. That's 12 hours and 59 minutes too long.

"Fic rec" is the wrong phrase to use, as there is no fic although I'm mesmerized by Jupiter_ash's new werewolf AU. However, I wanted to clear out some of the links I was sitting on before I disappeared to ChicagoTARDIS and then NYC.

Just in time for the holiday season of your choice, Save Undershaw starts a shop

Benedict Cumberbatch and Mark Gatiss standing in front of Speedys between takes. No spoilers and Gatiss isn't in costume. There's just something about this shot that charms me.

The Diogenes Club has an excellent essay regarding Holmes, Victoriana, and modernization called To hell with the crinoline: SHERLOCK and the Secret Weapon As much as I've adored Holmes since childhood, I confess I always had the niggling suspicion that his unique methods of deduction (or, to be semantically accurate, induction) could never work in the modern age. Victorian England was a place where class, economic and social differences were writ large for all to see, from customs of dress and deference, to the physical effects of various trades on their practitioners, to such fundamental distinctions as regional accent and mode of speech. Easy enough to believe that in the 19th century Sherlock Holmes could spot a military doctor by his bearing, a poor man by his hat lining, or a compositor by his thumb; how to make such minute observations in our time, when everyone wears blue jeans or mass-produced suits; when personal and professional mobility are, in the Western world at least, at levels undreamed of by Doyle; and when our ways of living, and making a living, tend to leave perceptible electronic traces on our hard drives and cell phones, but no such readily identifiable marks on our bodies?

And for a quick laugh after that, Darlock Holmes & Dalek Watson

People not already watching metaquotes and who are preferably not at work really need to read this post about loving language... a little too much.

*Still* not king angsting over the broken cabinet. Had this conversation with my mother (who just may be under the impression that the glass is just cracked *cough*):

"That was probably valuable. A lot of his furniture was."

"Thanks for making me feel better."

"Especially if it still has the maker's label on the back."

"Again, thank you for making me feel better."

"And of course, things are always most valuable when all the parts are original."

"And again... Look, I can't sell it unless I fix it anyway. Sorry you gave it to me?"

"Oh no! I took everything I wanted, it's YOUR problem now!"

I wish I knew how valuable it actually is (I looked at ebay, but saw nothing similar). It would be one thing if I broke a $1000 antique; frankly, if it's worth half that or less I'd feel a bit mellow about it all. After all, I'm going to be spending almost $800 just on new bookshelves. (The tax return cometh in, the tax return goeth out)

Okay, to make up for that whining, two intriguing foodie posts:

Step by step picture guide to making your own peanut butter or s'mores cups

Intense, detailed food lab on making homemade ricotta Includes description and photographs of using different acids, hidden pitfalls in different milks, and a microwave version. For those who don't care about the lab, the microwave recipe alone is right here

Also, there's a note in a related page that using the whey drained from ricotta for breadmaking instead of yeast works really well. Hmmmm!

Several posts rolled into one, to keep from spamming y'all:

SHERLOCK RECS:

Just a couple of links to pass on this week:

Classic Holmes: The Sherlock Holmes Society has free downloadable audio plays

Sherlock Fic: Outsider's Perspective which does what it says on the tin; give the perspective of several outsiders regarding Sherlock's new friend John. Set early in the first season, no slash, no spoilers. My favorite is Donovan's, although Anderson's is the most poignant. Lovely character work.

The author is also doing an interesting progression; the first is a drabble, the second a double-drabble, the third a triple, etc. Between this and the 221B fics, I'm impressed with the writing style challenges Sherlock fandom is tossing up.


LINKS:
Smithsonian.com had an interesting article about a guy who uses the geotagging feature of flickr to see what areas in famous cities are most photographed by locals vs tourists. There's a whole string of 'em, I'm going to point out: Washington DC NYC & London



Sunday 7:
( This week )

( Today, I: )

BREAD/SIGNAL BOOST

spiderine is selling mail-order fresh homemade bread in order to raise money for school and equipment. 7 types of bread (an 8th to come) and 3 types of scones. Details here at gonzo_bread.

Such a tasty way to help someone get back on their feet in this economy!


LINKAGE
Passing on some YouTube funnies from all over the flist. MOVE ALL BEVERAGES.

The South Korean promos for Sherlock Love the Loveless and I'd Rather Have Hard Times Together.

So yes, I'd say that sub has long since become text...

And getting back to Who fandom, CSI: Gallifrey. I would totally watch this show.

As I wait for the sun to rise to see if I can get to work or not, I'll pass on the NSFW youtube link to the sign language interpretation of Cee Lo Green's "Fuck you."

They say the ice will melt later today. In the meantime, I live on the main street out of this area and I haven't heard one car outside yet.