Shit!

[neadods]

Early yesterday evening, everything was fine. Mother called from the hospital, Dad was out of intensive care, they were going to take him for his first walk. Everything pointed to an accellerated recovery, so I went to see a friend who has been in the horrible position of having to put down a dog that she adored. I didn't turn my cell phone on - heck, I was only gone a few hours.

Apparently the news that my father had a heart attack hit just as I walked out the door.

I came home to four messages from my brother, which boiled down to "unless you have running plague buboes, get your ass to Mother's side right now." And I see his point of view, but I also saw mine, which was that I'd been up for 20 hours, was nightblind, Johns Hopkins was a huge place in a bad neighborhood, and I wasn't budging until I knew exactly where Mother was. And she wasn't answering her cell phone.

When not even Johns Hopkins could find her (the people on the phone were very nice to me), they left messages around for her to call me, which she did. On a scale of 1 - 10, it was a 1 (I think that means mild. I hope that means mild!) He was getting an emergency angioplasty. Aunt Mary was coming up today at noon, and my brother was heading up tomorrow, with a Monday arrival time. And I was MOST EXPRESSLY not to show up unless I could prove I wasn't sick myself because Mother didn't want to spread anything to him.

And... I can't. I've had a mild sore throat and faintly achey sinuses - y'know, that kind of pre-cold feeling - for several days now. Thing is, I also feel that way when under stress and when low on sleep. Like, say, right now.

I was also told she would call this afternoon and not to call in the morning, which is why I'm daring to get online now.

I'm falling apart in all directions. And when I went to get food this morning (there was none in the house, I'd figured I'd be at the hospital) the radio's telling me it's the most fucking wonderful time of the year.

I don't want to lose Christmas. I don't want to lose my Daddy!!

Comments

[faireraven.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts, hon... and sending what healing vibes I can to help...

*HUGS*

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Okay, okay, try to be as calm as possible. If your dad was going to have that sort of attack, the best place for him to be was in the hospital, and especially a hospital like Hopkins. I know you're worried, and scared and expecting the worst, but see if you can get to a place mentally where you don't expect the worst but accept status quo unless you hear otherwise.

And try not to let other people's panic infect you. I'm sure your brother was terrified himself, and that's why he gave you such a bleak picture. You're doing exactly the right thing.

You might consider going to the hospital just to be with your mom. You won't infect your dad if you look at him from a doorway or through glass.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

So far I'm distracting myself with things-to-do, even those as minor as answering email (which is why I've just been answering comments on the ring section. If I can focus on tasks, I'm okay-er.

The thing about infection is my mother is afraid that I'll give *her* something which she would then pass to Dad. Even if it would take time to incubate in both of them, he doesn't need it, second or third hand.

I keep reminding myself that no news is good news. There's no way they'd be waiting to call if something horrible happened.

[nycdeb.livejournal.com]

****HUGS**** and everything I said on IM over and over.

[queenmaggie.livejournal.com]

Good advice above. I'll be thinking about you!

[scatterheart.livejournal.com]

Hey... You don't know me, but I saw this post on my friends-of-friends list and wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you and your family. I hope everything is going to be alright!

[banazir.livejournal.com]

(((hugs)))

Prayers galore.
And what they said: it's actually very fortunate that he was already in a hospital; keeping yourself together will help your dad, mom, and brother too.

Best wishes,
Banazir

[terri-osborne.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

shayheyred does have some good advice there. But I see your mother's point, too. I wish I knew what to say that wasn't a complete cliche right now.

*hugs*

Hey, I just had a thought. How about asking your dad's doctor if they think it's okay for you to be around him?

[peggin.livejournal.com]

Oh, Nea! {{{{hugs}}}} I'm so sorry. It sounds like it was a mild attack, but what a thing to have to go through, especially when you were just starting to think things were getting better. I'll be keeping your family in my prayers.

[chickwriter.livejournal.com]

Sweetie - all I can say is I'm sending you and your dad many positive vibes. I know this has got to suck.

Hang in there. Try to get some rest and take care of yourself.

{{{{{{many many hugs!}}}}}}

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

I second everything said before. Your Dad is in the best hospital in the world, getting the best care available, and he is going to be OK.

Your sick feeling is probably stress, not a cold. I'd go be with your Mom, at least, even if you don't see your Dad. Just to make sure, wash your hands before you touch anyone or anything, wash your hands after you touch anyone or anything, and wash your hands every once in a while just because. (Get a purse-sized tube of hand lotion, your hands are going to dry out from so much washing. But it really is the best way to keep from spreading a cold.)

Can you get real-life hugs? Get as many of them as you can. Hugs reduce stress.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Crap crap crap.

[tchwrtr.livejournal.com]

Let me know if you need me there for you. I can give hugs in person if needed, or take you out for lunch and distraction.

And get some sleep, if you can.

[beledibabe.livejournal.com]

Oh, hon! ::hugs:: I'm sorry to hear about his heart attack, but at least he's in the right place for it to be taken care of asap.

And no, you shouldn't be there if you're feeling pre-coldish. And yeah, the neighborhood sucks. I spent all last fall at Hopkins, and believe me, you don't want to drive around there at night.

[kradical.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

Hang in there, Nea.

[sapphirerose61.livejournal.com]

Echoing some of the others - he's in the best place possible if this had to happen.

Don't let others panic you - you are getting information second or third hand, take it with a grain of salt from the persepctive they have.

Go to the hospital - it will make you feel better and the staff can give you a surgical mask to wear to prevent air germs from being spread (or you can buy some at the hardware store or such and take it yourself). This will (hopefully) comfort your mother as well - you will be there and not spreading unwanted germs.

Last - and this is the hardest - don't borrow trouble. I've been in your place and the hardest part is the not knowing, sitting around waiting to hear news.

I hope you get good news soon --

[havocthecat]

Oh, Nea, I'm so sorry! *seriously major hugs* I've been there, and it's not fun--and around Christmas is the worst time to have a sick family member. Please let me know if you need something from me, okay?

[kefiraahava.livejournal.com]

*megahugs*

Thank God he was in the hospital, as everyone else has said. Go with what the doctors say--not your mother--in terms of whether you should be visiting the hospital or not. They're in a better position to rationally judge medical risks from colds than either of you are right now and they're used to dealing with this particular issue regarding sick relatives of a patient.

And yes, if anything untoward*avert* happens, the hospital will call you. Trust me on this one. Been there, done that.

*hugs and prayers*

[deire.livejournal.com]

(((HUGS)))

[bizarra.livejournal.com]

I hope your father gets well and that everything is OK. {hugs}