Humor about writing with a PMSy rant attached.

[neadods]

An alternate rant and humor link.

First, the funny. elainemc found this: the hilarious (and blasphemous) The Book of Fanfic (Chapters 1 & 2 in comments). "21: And, lo, too late did He start to regret that He had not used a beta during the Creation."

Put down any drinkables and swallow before reading Chapter 2, verse 17. You have been warned.

Second, the rant. This all came about when someone got their knickers in a knot that people picked on fanfic. Which is the way of the world, as far as I'm concerned - most of my favorite humor is sarcastic and/or editorial and all humor like that is picking on something.

However, the original ranter abundantlyqueer hit many of my hot buttons in the original rant. Snipped from the original (which is linked in the wank rebuttal):

creativity, sexuality, sensuality, and the urge to tell stories are some the best, most precious, most awe-inspiring features of the human spirit. every human spirit. even if that human spirit doesn't know how to construct a friggin' sentence to your satisfaction. don't you dare step on that. this is almost entirely a community of women, and y'know what? we have enough of the friggin' world shitting on us and stepping on us and telling us we're not good enough. we don't need to hear it from each other.

laughing at someone else's fic does nothing to convince me of your intelligence, education, or ability as a writer. [snip]

I love this fandom, and I love the people who contribute, every single one of them, and so help me god if I ever see you shitting on that, don't bother asking if you can come stay in my house and eat my food. and you better believe, I'll minimize the shit out of the level of interaction I have with you.

I literally have PMS right now, so it's putting an edge on an already not-always-sweet temper.

Abundantly? Hon?

Get the fuck over it.

You're right on one part. Creativity and the urge to tell stories ARE some of the most precious features of the human spirit. Truely. I love creativity, I adore a good story. Finding one, however, is like panning for gold in the Pacific with a thimble.

I do not love any random set of words vomited out by someone's keyboard. Between my years in fandom and my months reviewing, I have read some shit that would make you want to bleach your brain, and it was NOT creative, it was NOT sexual, sensitive, precious, or awe-inspiring. In a few cases, it wasn't even recognizably a story. To quote an old humor routine, "That's not writing, that's just typing."

And I am not going to keep silent for the sisterhood, sweetie. Because we demean ourselves and our talents when we equate any awfulness with Austen, blather with Bronte, crap with Chaucer, dreck with Dickens, execrable with Elliot or shit with Shakespeare. To do so suggests that we are too stupid to know the difference. To accept it from ourselves is to suggest that we are not capable of doing better. There are a whole bunch of female authors who would beg to differ, my dear. If saying "anything you type is wonderful and anyone who disagrees should STFU" is your notion of feminism, then turn in your vote, slap on your lipstick, and climb back up on that pedestal so the rest of us can get ON with our lives.

I don't care what this makes you think of my intelligence, education, or writing ability. Tangle with the first two, it's going to be graduate degrees at 20 paces. Tangle with the last and... well, which one of us is familiar enough with the keyboard that we understand the concept of the "shift key" anyway?

As for the final threat, after I stop not shaking in my shoes at the idea of being ignored by the ignoble, I'm going to turn your anger right around. It's MY fandom too. You and your wanky little l33t-speakers flooding it with your masterbation-as-writing-exercise stories are serving the exact same purpose as the pokeweed in my garden - crowding out the good and the beautiful by out-multiplying and strangling it.

Don't expect me to play nice. And don't worry, I don't need to eat your food. I have my own food and my own house. I pay for them by writing.

Comments

[tchwrtr.livejournal.com]

Never mess with a roll--they tend to be backed with real emotions, and those emotions show.

Thus one of my favorite poems I have written was about what I wanted frm my Grandmother's house and couldn't have--like the small of the pantry, the sound of the door slamming on the breezeway, and the feel of the grass out back between your toes.