neadods | Top 5 Fictional Characters Who Need to Be Punched in the Face

I don't think

minervacat intended to start a meme, but comments from her post on "Top 5 fictional characters who need a punch in the face" are galloping along. Only one's hit

metaquotes so far, but there's a lot of good stuff there.

So... who do YOU think needs one in the face (or in the 'nads, some of 'em)?

1 - Most of the cast of Gilmore Girls. A lot of the comments are singling out Jess, and yeah, it would be really satisfying to hear the squish as Mr. "I'm more cool & angsty than Holden Caulfield" gets run over by a car. But that doesn't mean that Rory doesn't deserve it for throwing her bright future away every chance she gets. Or Lorelai with her "I'm too sexy for everything, isn't my fast-talking, name-dropping snobbery cute?" attitude. Or Dean "I'll screw around on my wife and then blame my lover for my wife finding out." Or Taylor and Kirk for existing.

2 - Holden Caulfield. Want to see the biggest phony there is, dear? Look in a mirror. Then grow the fuck up. If you hadn't been the first foul-mouthed angsty teenager to make it to print, you'd have long since sunk into the anonymity you deserve.

3 - Heathcliff. You need Prozac. Lots and lots and lots of Prozac, followed by decades of therapy.

4 - Carrie Meeber. You're so stupid I'm surprised your brain has enough power to keep your lungs working. Undine Spragg kicks your literary ass.

5 - King Lear. Talk about stupid! If that's your idea of leading a country, you deserved to have your family turn on you and your land invaded. If you want unconditional fawning love, get a damn dog.