On writing women characters

[neadods]

The authors I internet-stalk have been doing a fair amount of discussing how to write women as characters at the moment. And if there was one thing that I'd love to get into the conversation, it is this:

Stop using tits as a shorthand for femininity. More than that, stop using how women dress their upper bodies as a shorthand for how they feel about their sexuality. (I'm looking at you, Byatt. You should have known better.)

Here's a handy hint for the Y-enabled authors reading this blog:

Women don't think about their breasts very often.

Seriously, once you've grown them, figured out your overall dressing style and found a bra you like, the whole boob thing is pretty much a done deal. In general day-to-day life, the overall chestal concern isn't "how do I feel about my tits?" It's "is this bra going to behave?" And I don't mean "Will it lift, separate, and present my apparatus to advantage?" I mean "18 Hour Comfort my ass; this damned thing's riding up/falling down/digging in/falling off my shoulders a-fucking-gain!" (Spend a day in a dance belt, boys, and see how long it takes you to stop caring what's in it and start obsessing on comfort.)

And besides... was the gender of your characters changed, would you really be writing things like "Jack dressed to the left to show his confidence today"?

Even the girliest of girls is going to think about her hair and nails more than her mammaries. After all, the first two are in plain sight at all times, while her breasts aren't. Boobs don't require a lot of maintenance, after all. They don't need to be filed, trimmed, or polished, and are far less likely to kink in odd directions if you sleep on them wet.

Oh, things are different if the scene is specifically about sexuality. (Scott Wentworth once wrote with remarkable surprise that both his leading ladies adjusted their bodices while singing the line "weapons ready" in Enter the Guardsman. What was he expecting?) But on a day to day basis? When other people aren't making a big deal out of them?

We. Don't. Care.

I just had to get that off my chest.

Comments

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Regarding underwires: I have never met a single soft-cup bra that offers anywhere near the support I need. And I have tried a lot of them. Closest I've ever come is a few sports bras, but they invariably give me uniboob. I really wish I could find a soft-cup bra that worked for me, because, having a smallish frame and huge boobs, underwire often pokes me in the pits.

[lyricwrites.livejournal.com]

It may be a peculiarity of my size that makes underwires not work for me, but based on past conversations, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in my distaste.

Getting somewhat back on topic—yes, guys, when women talk about their breasts, this is generally what it sounds like. In-depth discussion of support, plus possibly a recommendation for finding bras that do not require you to take out a second mortgage.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Oh, I've met plenty of women who hate underwire with a fiery passion. The caveat is that none of them were anywhere near as well-endowed as I am. Every woman I've met who exceeds D has the same complaint about soft-cup bras: Comfortable, but inadequate.

And oh, how I envy women who can go into any store that sells lingerie and find bras! When I was slimmer, I could buy my bras at Nordstrom, because they were the only brick-and-mortar store that carried my size. Quality brands, too. You paid through the nose for them, but they'd last for years if you cared for them. Nowadays, I buy from Linda's. Still pay through the nose, but they're quality.

Unfortunately, when you're my size, you end up in a double bind: My everyday bra is comfortable, but doesn't offer the best support or shape. My good bras make me look amazing (they bring the girls back up where they were when I was in my twenties), but I have welts under my arms after a day's wear.

[evil_plotbunny]

I find these Glamorise bras both comfortable and surprisingly supportive. (I also recommend Bare Necessities in general - quick shipping, periodic sales if you get on their list and good customer support).

[neadods.livejournal.com]

You're totally not alone; I hate underwires. In fact, I hate any bra that isn't cotton, so I'm really a bit up the creek vis a vis selection.

[inamac.livejournal.com]

A few years ago a couple of British inventors (male) tackled the problem of underwired bras (both from the comfort and washability POV). They came up with a bra including a curved silicon 'form' that provided support and stability without digging in, and was machine washable.

I have one somewhere. Unfortunately it's too bulky to be really comfortable.

But there must be some viable modern technical solution...

[neadods.livejournal.com]

In my copious free time, I want to start trying to merge some of the corset-making shortcuts as bra-making shortcuts. For instance, you can make a corset that's easier to wash by using cable ties instead of corset stays.

(That said, I wonder if ringsteel stays might make for a more comfortable underwire than the standard steel U.)

[inamac.livejournal.com]

The Victorians used (hemp) cording as well as steel or whalebone to strengthen their corsets - I have been wondering whether to try replacing the (missing) underwires from some of my old bras with cording to see whether this works.

Am still rather annoyed that the steampunk corset I ordered for Eastercon has still not arrived.

[neadods.livejournal.com]

Underwires vs soft cups is a very personal thing. Me, I rather like the uniboob look - gives me great cleavage if I'm going to be showing it off - and the way underwires move as I breathe creep me out.

That said, I'm thisclose to bailing on the whole commercial bra thing and making my own. I'm already between chest wall sizes and my tits are different by a cup. Even if I go for a $400 handwash only German-engineered Turbotitatron, I'm not going to find one that fits both breasts!

[honorh.livejournal.com]

"German-engineered Turbotitatron"--hee! I think I need one of those.